If you eat meat, it seems, you’re not half as eco-responsible as you could be.

Even local meat. Why is that? Not ’cause I’m a crazy vegan (I’m a crazy vegetarian, truth be known). But because it’s a fact. We all know (but mostly don’t care enough to give up the good stuff) that feedlots and slaughterhouses and trucking your average meal 1500 miles is sad and bad.

But here’s the strange-but-true fact-of-the-matter: cow farts and burps contain so much methane that they account for more carbon emissions than all the selfish gas-guzzling climate-change-creating SUV drivers in the whole wide world.

So add that one to your liberal guilt bank account—or do something about it. A great start would be to only eat local meat, but that’ll only get you about halfway, emissions-wise. If you’re driving a decent MPG SUV with multiple passengers, of course, that could be greener than a solo Prius-driver.

Too bad we can’t just offshore drill our way out of the problem. Oh, wait, we can!

Bonus: