The contrast between how I felt last Friday…and how I feel now, three days later, is staggering. In a good way.

It’s all thanks to an event I attended over the weekend. It was mind-blowing! Transformative! Healing! And awesome, and heart-warming! It was the  “Rejuvenate Your Practice 2-Day Intensive Seminar,” taught by “life coaches” Jesse Koren and Sharla Jacobs in Los Angeles. 

Last month, I was invited by a facebook buddy, Bill Baren, to listen in on a free tele-seminar called “S-E-L-L is not a four-letter word”. I’d been struggling with some major personal issues about sales, self-worth, and money at the time of the invitation and was eager to participate. Bill and Jesse had a one-hour conversation about Jesse and his wife Sharla’s revolutionary, heart-selling techniques. I took copious notes, learned a lot and realized that their values were right in line with mine. 

I wanted so much to take them up on the offer of a partial scholarship to attend their 2-day seminar, but was having issues buying groceries, much less paying almost $500 for a seminar, even though I badly needed it. I wished for another way to attend the workshop and put that out to the universe. My wish was granted! A week later, I was offered a full scholarship to attend the seminar for the weekend of my choice! I was elated and so excited that there was one coming up in Los Angeles in a month! 

In the meantime, by a series of last-minute miracles, I’d scraped together enough cash to take a trip to Portland, Oregon for my friend’s wedding and realized that I would like to make it my home for a while. I felt so inspired by the culture and the beauty of Portland while I was there that I planned to relocate within two months. I could imagine myself really coming into my power there and BEING The Feng Shui Fairy. 

I still needed a lot of healing both physically and spiritually and I sensed that Portland would be a great place for me to get that. Plus, I made a ton of friends and it seemed like everything I would need to live there was offered to me in three days! However, upon returning home, “reality” came crashing down on me. There was no way I could move without first having the money to do so and the cash I’d need as a cushion in case I didn’t get a job right away. 

I was feeling defeated and depressed. I had a TON of connection and zero clients, somehow!  I was searching craigslist constantly for jobs. I felt so stuck and was feeling overwhelmed by a storm of negative thoughts and feelings. Here I was, living at my mom’s clutter-filled home, feeling like a fish-out-of-water in suburban, conservative, “Pleasantville”-like Irvine with very few green companies around to connect with, no job, no money, no car of my own and a poor public transportation system! I pride myself on my ability to see abundance, but even I was having a hard time!

I was grateful to have a place to live and I worked my feng shui magic in my room, but the rest of the house was getting me down in a big way and I’d been constantly battling illnesses since moving in two months earlier. My mom and I were negotiating on some major issues with each other, but I felt completely disconnected from my own personal power. There’s no way I could envision fully being myself and living in harmony with my mother. My energy was so low that all I wanted to do was sleep away the hours until the weekend workshop, and I did, more than I care to admit.

Fortunately, last Friday, I received two gifts in the afternoon that made a big difference.  My story, “Abundance Mastery: What I Learned from Going Broke,” was published on Elephant Journal and I received a heart-warming wave of support from my friend, editor-in-chief, Waylon Hart Lewis. That really helped and gave me the shot of energy I needed to get out of the house and get myself ready for the weekend workshop starting the next day! I swear, since “going broke” my life has been a marathon series of last-minute miracles! Goddess likes to take me right to the edge and then push me off!  Fortunately, I love to fly and my wings get used regularly! I’d really prefer to do it on my own terms, though!   

Well, I’m thrilled to say that I’ve finally figured out how to do that. Please stay tuned for part II, my experience of the “Rejuvenate Your Practice 2-Day Intensive”…. -C.B.

Claire Burstein, whimsically named “The Feng Shui Fairy” is a spiritual practitioner, writer and environmental advocate.  For more: thefengshuifairy.com.