by Sarah Miller

I’m not used to guys asking for my phone number. Where I come from, I’m not exactly anyone’s “type.”  I guess I’m a bit out of practice.

Yesterday on the airplane, I had a brief, but nice and pleasant chat with the guy sitting next to me. No harm in being polite. Right? When we began the descent towards Denver, he asked for my phone number. I said yes, then wrote it in his book, without thinking of an alternative option.

I didn’t give him my real number though. I didn’t want to. And realize, now, that I should have been more upfront about that- more honest. I’m not comfortable with giving out my phone number to just anyone, and yet, I hand out my business cards right and left. So what’s the difference?

Trying to find meaning in this encounter and figure out my reaction to it, I’m left feeling dishonest. Untruthful. Unhappy with my actions.

Meditation and yoga this morning started the process of contemplation, and I realized that the real issue is that I went against my heart. When we are not honest with ourselves, or others, we undeniably hurt ourselves. I’m overtly sensitive to this reality. (I also have a knack for over-processing.)

As I figure out my next move (to a new state) and eventually settle into my new home, I realize that I will continue to confront this reality more and more when I’m outside of my comfort zone and my old, familiar surroundings. I better come up with a better practice in order to reach more harmony with head and heart.