Admit it. Deep down you just wish you were cool enough to permanently dress in skinny jeans and chain smoke while sipping espresso from pretentious sounding coffee grinders. Well, if you have yet to realize your dreams of hipsterdom, now’s your chance: Walmart’s selling fixed gears, and they’re only $149 a pop.

You know an what was thought to be an underground fad has gone completely mainstream when its essential accessory is being sold by one of the biggest box stores in the country. Although you might want to consider scratching the Mongoose logo off… any self respecting hipster would never be seen with a branded bike — although the fixie is a sort of branding in and of itself.

But simply buying a fixed gear won’t make you a hipster… you’ll need a mustache as well, which is easily doable with American Apparel’s balaclava:

Alright, we’re off to buy an accompanying messenger bag from an obscure brand…