Goodbye, overpriced ailment-curing drink beloved by hippie yuppies everywhere.

Why? It’s a teensy bit more alcoholic than it was supposed to be. Who gives a shiite.

I’ll tell you who gives a shiite: the poor green-minded entrepreneurs who, suddenly, find themselves losing their shirts while their stock rots in a Whole Foods back room.

Sources say the various kombucha companies ain’t even getting their product or money back, which would drive me to drink.

Want to know more? Me neither, not really. But if you did, click the image below, Gawker has a surprisingly in-depth, high-lariously accurate report on all things kombucha/Whole Foods/overpriced hippie bullshiite.