Do you lose your temper? Do I? Does your child? Of course—we all do. We forget to breathe, we can’t speak properly, we storm about stomping our temper tantrum-y feet.

Buddhist Advice on What to do if You’re about to Lose it + Start a Fight.

I don’t know about you, but I lose my temper once every few months, if only for a few minutes. But when it’s over I’ve hurt someone’s feelings and acted like a big silly idiot.

So I found this advice helpful. It’s from Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa, who played a pivotal role in bringing Buddhism from Tibet to the West after the Chinese invasion. ~ ed.

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche:

If you’re about to have a fight, just flash [the feeling you have when you meditate], and then hold steady.

The idea of wanting to have a fight begins to dissolve, and, in turn, because of that, one begins to develop what is known as compassion. You begin to have more trust in yourself, less destructiveness in yourself, and less pain. And because you have less pain, therefore you’re able to communicate that to other people.

Working with oneself that way, in turn, you begin to work with others.

That seems to be the basic point of why you have to practice meditation.

~ Chögyam Trungpa, Rinpoche

(Click for photos and another great talk, this one for parents, on The Shambhala Times).