I can’t tell if it was just plain coincidence or the result of my incessant ranting but 2010 ending up being a transformational year for my beloved yoga studio.

No more loud cocktail parties in the hallway during Savasana.  That sweaty hot class that ends just before mine starts now gets a regular mop-up.  My recurring monthly auto-withdrawal deal has resulted in an average class price of under $8.

Nirvana you say? I’m almost there:

Not being greeted with yogic pleasantries upon check in. Hey I really don’t care if your boyfriend wants to have an “open relationship.”  Please don’t scowl at me when I check in.

Teacher Training Adjustments. Please put your teacher training students to work by requiring them to provide adjustments in every class to people like me.   That thing you do when I’m in down dog feels really good.

Water fountain should be converted to a Coconut Water fountain. Forget my idea about putting a filter between me and the municipal water department. I’m sure that Zico (now partly-owned by Coca-Cola) would love to use this as a way to up-sell me to Coke Zero.

Men’s toilet needs a floating target. I’m in bare feet and I have to stand near this thing?

Teachers that say “Take the opposite grip that you are used to using.” Well, I’ve been using the opposite grip for the last two classes so should I use the opposite of the opposite grip (my regular grip) or just the opposite again?

The yoga collective that never seems to leave the studio. Congratulations on receiving your certificate in yoga instruction from Dr. Yogi Swami Krishna Goldberg.  It’s none of my business, but don’t you think that taking five classes a day is pushing the limits of your new status?

Ignoring the serious humor of a yoga fart. (Especially when it punctuates a teacher’s instruction).  To the serious and totally mature yogis and yoginis: so sorry that I can’t stop my uncontrollable giggles and that my immaturity has ruined your class!

To all of my favorite teachers….Cara, Jason. Matt, Trista, Tunde and snowboarding friend/Ganesha-loving Stephanie.  Thanks for the dedication and joy you bring to my classes!

Bonus: