I love my new purple pants from Lululemon. This in itself is not news.

What’s interesting to me is a message on the tag. I noticed it when I was at home examining my new fabulous find—really cool purple yoga pants.

Item number 3 says:

Smooth elastic waistband helps eliminate muffin top

I have the sense that a marketing guru would say that Lululemon has simply identified a quality that women want in their pants.

But, when I got home with these pants, enjoying the intimacy of just me with the yoga pants alone—admittedly I was admiring them—and I got to item number 3, which I had not seen in the store, I was kind of pulled out of the moment.

Muffin top?

It hit me kinda’ like the “camel toe” thing from a while back.

Stop hating on my body, Lulu!

I know that Julia Roberts portrayed the term as sweet, fun girl stuff in Eat Pray Love with her pretend “muffin top” in the film.

Either Lululemon wants to protect me from my shameful muffin top, or “eliminate” it all together (as stated in item 3). The pants are called, “repetition” apparently to help me do that next rep in my workout. …to help me eliminate my muffin top… Okay Lulu, I think I get it. Your marketing message is here to motivate me toward something “I” want, because every woman does want to rid herself of that “ugly fat” above the waistline of her exercise pants (also known as a “muffin top”), right?

No thanks.

I think I’ll just ignore that part of the tag. The tops of baked goods like muffins are often really tasty. Is my pubic mound really a muffin? …a delicious muffin?

Honestly, this language seems a bit presumptuous for a pair of pants…