Originally published on Recovering Yogi on August 19, 2011. 

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You might be a hooker (or a yoga teacher) if… 

By Bart Shuler and Bret Alexander

1. You work barefooted
2. You go to work and say things like, “downward, dog” and “lie on the floor, hands by your side” and “$125 an hour”
3. You give a cut of your earnings to the proprietor of your working space
4. You measure success by the number of clients you can work with in a day
5. You have a group rate
6. You consider flexibility an occupational talent
7. You have regulars that come back for their fix each week
8. Your clients always leave sweaty… and satisfied
9. You carry the tools of your trade under a single arm
10. You can touch, but no kissing

About the writers

Bret Alexander is an amateur (but really very good) karaoke artist who splits his time between his home in Los Angeles and his job in NYC. When he is not serenading ladies to the lyrics of Lionel Ritchie, he can be found tracking down the best steak in a 30-mile radius.

Bart Shuler lives in Santa Monica, CA, where yoga studios outnumber the homeless. In his free time you can find him watching every movie ever made and then quoting the lines back to you, or supporting his Midwest heritage by wearing a cheesehead and cheering on the Green Bay Packers.