Have you ever invested your energy in one of those circular conversations that’s destined to end badly, no matter how hard you try?

I must be wearing a sign around my neck that says, “Convert me.” I’m like a walking Biblical DON’T, so I guess people figure I’m an easy target.

The conversation/conversion begins pleasantly enough, but before I know it I’m listening to a parade of Bible verses that don’t actually have anything to do with the point I’d been trying to make:

 YES, I believe in God…

…and NO, I’m not worried about going to hell.

I always wind up feeling sad and even a bit guilty because the converters seem so surprised when their verses don’t win me over. They’re dumbfounded when they to learn that I actually happen to know the same verses and just came up with a different conclusion.

After that, the conversation goes downhill rather quickly…I’m either included in a prayer circle or condemned to eternal damnation.

To make the converter’s job easier, I created this handy flowchart. Rather than having to do all that Bible research to find the right verse to prove their points, they can just hand out copies of this chart.

This way, they’ll have more time to pay attention to their own families.

Click on the chart for a larger view:

You can also try my simpler version, which goes like this:

I’d like to thank the blogger at  Peas and Cougars for the inspiration. Her “Will You Be Raptured?” flowchart is pure genius.

A year and ½ ago, Leigh Hopkins was living in Philadelphia, working as a stressed out education policy wonk, when she felt the call to make a dramatic shift. She and her partner sold everything they owned and bought an organic farm in the mountains of Brazil, where they run Viva Institute, a raw vegan/spiritual retreat center. When she’s not serving as chef, Leigh works as a professional psychic and teacher with the guidance of her friend and mentor, Echo Bodine. You can also find Leigh at liveyourbliss.wordpress.com and vivainstitute.com.