“Love has no conditions. When we put conditions, when we put barriers and boundaries, then we lose love. Love is condition-less. Love is barrier-less. Look at the moon, sun, stars, trees…they are just on for everyone. When our love also flows for everyone, you become very natural.“ -Pujya Swamiji

Would you describe yourself as a loving person? Do you give for the pure joy of giving or is there hope of getting a little love in return? Be honest with yourself. When you show up at work after vacation with treats for your co-workers is it so they’ll ask you about your trip? Isn’t that a small form of bribery, coercing love with bakery? Do you expect love from your family members on your time-table or do you go out of your way to make sure that they feel heard, loved, considered and cared for? If you want to feel heard, adored, and loved, isn’t it best to be all of that for everyone else first?

It’s pervasive throughout our culture to let the ego rule the heart. I catch this in myself on a regular basis. I make decisions on how to treat someone based on how I think I’m perceived. I tease, withhold, inflate, cajole, humor, placate, incite, support, encourage, deplore, and adore someone at some point with the hope of feeling loved in return. That loud voice inside my head cheering me on, reducing me to act out my particular patterns of behavior that started in childhood in order to feel loved by my parents.

Well, guess what? I’m an adult now and you are too, if you’re reading this. So why the hell am I still acting like an unruly teenager? Because somewhere inside of me, I decided it was easier to be this way.

It’s time to cut the cord on the lazy girl’s guide to life. I let go of my preconditioned ways of being. I am open to love in the way the moon and stars just are. I do not question their brightness or the source of their light. What I feel for myself flows through me and out without barriers. I see you for who you are. Where you are wounded and how you are strong. Who you build your walls against and how you love to fight. I see the same in me, but now I choose a different course. You can choose too. So, which is it?