If we have been hurt by someone, why do we hurt ourselves more by feeling the pain of anger?

Anger is not my enemy.

Anger is my friend.

Anger is trying to show me some things.

But,

I am angry at my friend Anger.

I do not like to be angry.

I like peace, calm and joy.

I like to be peace, calm and joy.

How do I express my anger?

Do I yell and scream and say mean things?

This I will regret.

Do I ignore and suppress and pretend everything is ok?

This will cause me more pain and make it stick and hold me down.

Getting angry causes more pain. Really I’d like to cry and cry. I do. Then I feel better. For a bit.

“Patience and forgiveness are the healing middle way between the extremes of either suppressing or indulging anger and other strong negative emotions.” -David F. Vennells in “Reiki for Beginners.”

I ask for Patience to teach me, show me, guide me.

What does she say?

She says, be patient with yourself, you are learning.

She says, be kind and understanding toward yourself and others, everyone is learning.

I ask Forgiveness to teach me, show me, guide me.

How will I know if I forgive?

He says, acknowledge yourself as a sensitive and loving being. You deserve to forgive. Forgiveness will set you free to love and be loved in harmony. Accept the imperfections as perfections. 

Five Steps To Handling Your Anger

1. Breathe & Create Space. – It’s easy to lose control and say or do things we might regret later on. Move to another room or go for a walk outside.
2. Acknowledge How You Feel. – Notice your feelings and name them to yourself.
3. Express in Constructive Ways. – Write it out, dance, run, stomp, yell (not at someone), howl, draw, paint, pray, meditate – this moves the energy out.
4. Reconcile. – With yourself or another person, communicate your pain, come to understanding of the situation, and learn your lesson!