Once again my “To Be” list for 2012, has “Become an Ambassador for Lululemon.” But even though I am one of the most popular and skilled teachers in Denver, and have written a yoga book, and I’m super freaking hot, I am still not an Ambassador. Why? Dare I say it’s because I’m over 50???

Let me tell you something: If you don’t give a hoot about this right now, you will someday because, unless you mess it up or get terribly sick or, get hit by a car, you too will be my age. It’s better than the alternative.

It could also be that I am not a vegan with lots of time to Tweet about how I can put both feet behind my head (which I can). However, since I’ve begun Tweeting my song, my followers have tripled (if you don’t include my Mom, I’m up to something like 26! OMG!). Here’s the song:

            “Oh Lord, won’t you make me a Lulu Ambassador

            My friends all wear Tonic, Lucy and Prana

            I practiced hard all my lifetime, no help from my core

            So Lord, won’t you make me a Lulu Ambassador.”

 (Sung to the tune of  “Mercedes Benz”)

Interestingly, I often have 50 people in my noon class on Friday, so I think we might video the whole class singing it for YouTube. I hear this is a popular way to get a message across.

After my class yesterday, in which 30 of us sang the song with gusto, a student asked me why on earth I even want to be an Ambassador. I sometimes refer to this split as: “To Lulu, or not to Lulu,” because that is often the question. You know, those clothes by Lululemon are really freaking expensive, right? And hello, they only make clothes for small people size 12 and under, which is just wrong. And lastly, they only feature young people in their marketing. How many 20-year-olds have $92 for a pair of pants? Bring on the sexy old people with money. (My people will call your people, okay?)

The real reason I want to be an Ambassador is because even though I have full yoga classes, and have been teaching for six years, and have written a book, and have trained many of my local stores’ current Ambassadors, and have all the little Lululemons in my classes every single week, and have a second yoga book coming out this year, and wear their clothes too much of the time, and have started not one but TWO yoga-oriented charities in my area, and I’m trained in two styles of yoga, I have never been asked. I want to be a Lululemon Ambassador, and I’d also very much like to have dinner with George Clooney. I will probably have a better chance with George Clooney when I’m at the Tadasana Festival in Los Angeles this year.

I know this rant is probably not going to get me what I want, but it sure was fun. And my phone is ringing which could be Lululemon calling (I’m a yogi, right? We are ridiculously optimistic.) This morning I even filled out my fourth application online, because like Rumi said, if you want to touch the sky you better learn how to kneel. I’m on my knees, Lululemon, and at my age I may need help getting back up!

 Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She’s the author of “Finding More on the Mat,” a yoga memoir available in January from Amazon.com. You can find her blog at www.michellemarchildon/blog or on her Facebook page, Yogi Muse.