Welcome to: Tea with Tyler –– your soulful advice column.

Here is a recent question I received:

I hate it when my girlfriend smokes pot or does drugs. I don’t want her to do it. What is this?

The first question to ask yourself, what about this scenario bothers you?

Are you concerned for her safety? Does her personality change when she does drugs? Are you simply against drugs? Is it that she is breaking the law? Is it that she is having “fun” without you?

What does her doing drugs trigger in you? Fear? Jealousy? Sadness?

Once you know this answer, then you have a clear enough head to ask yourself the next pressing question –– Is this a deal breaker?

Keep in mind that people are not perfect, and neither are relationships. There will always be some kind of conflict or difference between two people. That’s what keeps things interesting.

Maybe she doesn’t change the toilet paper roll ever, or maybe there is no right way for you to communicate to her about her mother, or maybe she smokes pot.

What ever the issue, ultimately you have to decide what works for you.

We can’t force people to behave the way we want them too.

I would suggest getting real clear about what it looks like for you on your end of this, and then expressing that to her. See what she does with that information, and proceed from there.

Do you have any other questions regarding this subject or any other subjects?  Ask me at www.teawithtyler.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you for having Tea with Tyler.

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Editor: Lindsay Friedman

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Hi, I’m Tyler Stroebel, and I am Tea with Tyler. I’m a mother, wife, business owner, healer, and reverend, passionate about providing comfort in a sometimes uncomfortable world. www.teawithtyler.com is a free online soulful advice column.