The truth of life is that it is always changing and evolving.

People come and go, money goes up and down… and sometimes communities fall apart and transform.

This week was a bit of a slap to the face when some of my teachers announced they were leaving the Anusara community.

But some magic did happen, I came across one of John Friend’s quotes, “Be receptive. Allow relationships to freely alight in your upturned hand. Welcome them. If they don’t stay forever–like little birds–freely allow them to fly away. Offer blessings.”

I thought his quote was ‘bang on’ for the emotions I was experiencing with the drastic changes in the Anusara community. In classical yoga thought, it is discussed that the more attached or clingy we are to the outside world (people, things and money) the more we will suffer.

When I was still grasping this idea of non-attachment I asked one of my teachers, “But don’t we want to be attached to people, our lovers, our kids, our family? Is that not healthy?”

The answer was yes. We are going to get clingy and attached to people, and it is very healthy to a certain degree. Butwe must remember that our kids, family, lovers and friends are like birds. They have their own wings, and we never want to cling so tightly that we break their wings or forget about our own.

You never know how long a bird will stay with you, but you can be present to each and every moment you share. You can build a nest, and nourish and love each other so that the next time you take flight, in a few days, years or at your deathbed, you are both stronger.

Photo: Don LaVange

When you are not so clingy, you give yourself and others the freedom and strength to fly.

Sometimes you will fly together, and sometimes by yourself.

It hasn’t been easy for me to see the Anusara community changing so rapidly. It was really hard for me to see Noah Maze and many other beautiful teachers leave. I had to take a moment, and be honest with myself and realize I was holding onto some birds too tightly and forgetting about my own wings. Communities change, grow and transform, and teacher’s change, grow and transform.

As I fly through these challenging times, I have decided to be grateful for all my teachers and friends, who have added to the strength and grace of my own two wings. And whenever I feel doubt, I remember they have given me the greatest gift of all: the ability to stretch my wings and fly on my own.

 Edited by Kate Bartolotta