Show up and Smile

Months ago, my two daughters and I went roller skating at the local roller rink. I desired mom/daughter bonding time and a date with my inner child.

These past few years I’ve peeled off stifling layers of adulthood, the illusions that I am my past, my parents, my enemies, my friends, my stuff, my occupation, my children, my future…

I believe this is why “she” showed up. Yes, my inner child surfaced and met me at the skate counter. We traded my Dansko clogs for dirty-leather skates with frayed laces and orange wheels.

You’d think since I wrote Indigo’s Bracelet, a children’s chapter book, I have a strong relationship with my inner child. But that’s just not the case. In fact, I actually believe writing the story helped me find her.

Before I go on, here are a few definitions for inner child.

1. The child you once were.                                                                                                                                           ~ whatisholistic.com

2. The childlike aspect of a person’s psyche especially when viewed as an independent entity.                   ~ wiktionary.org

3. My favorite: The essential, or original self, regarded as a child, existing within the shell of an adult.    ~ wiktionary.org

I’m not surprised that the kid in me showed up and grooved around the rink. To my core, I’ve always loved to dance and move fast. But what did surprise me was something my daughter said. After I’d taken a few lively spins chasing disco ball lights, I locked hands with her and smiled. She looked at me and said, “It’s kind of like your showing off out there.”

At first I didn’t know what to say. Then I grinned and said, “Oh honey, I’m just showing up.”

She smiled back, thank goodness, and we skated hand in hand.

Then I thought, Ah, yes. Another example of what happens to kids when they express themselves. Their peers think they’re showing off. A child’s self-expression sparks another kid’s judgments and projections. No wonder children lock their impulsive, energetic, spontaneous, authentic, deep vibration inside.

Okay, and to set the record straight, I did release my inner child. I let her authentic nature bend and glide to Michael Jackson’s Beat It. But I wasn’t a siren demanding attention. I just allowed that primal essence that has lived with me the longest, out to play.

In fact, I realized my inner child is the house of my soul. She is the framework that holds ancient wisdom from infinite times and travels.

She is Love, and the connection to all that I am.

And, all she ever wants to do is…show up and play.

This past weekend, my girls and I returned to the skating rink. Dare I admit my daughter out danced me?

Big smile…

By Alexandra Folz

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Editor: Brianna Bemel