Finding tools to self-awareness in our natural human tendencies.

It is with my profoundest sincerity that I share these words with you….

Built into the human mind is a deep sensitivity to imperfection, and through this sensitivity arises the natural human qualities of criticism and judgment. It happens in the minds of even the most enlightened ones. Perhaps you have noticed that our judgments have dis-empowering and destructive effects on self and others.

Within and throughout human development, there have been different layers or degrees of judgment. At one time in our life (and for some, we are at that point right now), our mind was brutal and at its most critical, expressing judgment in the form of ridicule, name calling and condemnation. This includes statements like, “You are a piece of sh*t; you’re a lowlife, you will never amount to anything,” or, “You white trash loser; you can’t do anything right,” to even more simple statements such as “Ugh, I’m too fat for that pair of jeans.” And I am sure you can imagine, have spoken or have heard much worse language than this.

Our language stems from our inner dialogue, so much so that that the language expressed by others always gives an indication of that person’s inner voice and inner critic. It is commonly known that through language, we discover how we unconsciously feel about ourselves.

Within every individual there are what I like to call “blind spots.” These parts of ourselves that we are unable to see, as well as our language, perceptions and judgments of others, are always a true road map into our own sense of self.

Many of us complain inwardly about all aspects of our lives, especially the people in our relationships. But it is through our relationships that we are offered life’s greatest gift: a mirror. Language can be extremely self-destructive or overwhelmingly self-empowering.

For as we describe the world, we see the world, and the way we view the world is a direct reflection of our very own sense of self.

Judgment gets a bad rap in the modern world. We seek a mind free of judgment, but this is impossible. Judgment is the way the human mind thinks. The trick is not to be free of judgment but not to identify with it. People get stuck in the lower frequencies of the victim mind when they identify with their judgments, which make them feel more secure. It doesn’t really matter what your judgments are or how much you dislike a person as long, as you don’t hold so tightly to your judgments that they define who you are.

If we look at the language we use and the judgments we form toward other people, we can use this aspect of our humanity as a tool into our own psyche to develop a deeper understanding of Self.

When you notice a harsh judgment of another arising, ask yourself, “What does this judgment tell me about myself?”

As our sense of self deepens and we shed the layers of our ego—because there are many—we lose interest in the harsh ridicule of name calling and condemning of self and others. As we proceed on the path of understanding, and our awareness deepens around our own judgments, we notice a collection of undermining, judgmental thought patterns across the globe. The good news is we can always get a sneak peek into the Self when we notice the language we use…

Spiritual teachers, healers and anyone who has committed to sincere self-study will one day arrive in the state of love. Always, however, there will be someone there to challenge you, test you and push your buttons. But as we get closer to this state of love, the level, number and intensity of our judgments changes and so does the language we use.

Someone coming from a place of love cannot project hate. When you arrive in love, you will see only love and divinity in others. It is from this place that we truly understand the shadow self, the operating system behind judgment and the hard work it requires to change one’s self.

Our judgments show us how to heal our mental anguish and assume our true place in the universe as whole individuals. This is possible through the deep work of compassion, which brings us to forgiveness; and from forgiveness, we reach a state called perfection.

When you arrive in love, you can be sure you have visited the dark night of the soul. You have searched with deep anticipation all your demons, you have been mesmerized by your own shadow, you’ve come face to face with ego (the identified self) and ultimately you have experienced sorrow, humility and have mourned a part of yourself that you have allowed to die.

With great determination and courage, you have moved through the dysfunction and ruin of your own soul, have accepted this gracious gift and pushed on through, out of your comfort zone, to arrive on the other side. Once there, you find yourself living in and vibrating to the frequency of truth and love.

After such a journey, we arrive in a place of true understanding: understanding the behaviors that accompany our shadow self, understanding that our shadow stems from our “blind spots” and a knowing that the ego has been driving.

As we are on this path as spiritual activists and teachers, when someone with a great spirit takes a lead in the world and carries him or herself with dignity and self-respect, one thing is certain: that person will be challenged and met with opposition. It is here that we arrive at a moment of great opportunity.

Let us take it a step further and receive the insults, the foul language and ridicule from others for what they truly are: a gift.

When a fellow brother or sister tells you he hates you, remind him that we are love. When you receive a threat of anger, remind him that there is nothing to fear. When a sister tells me I am unworthy, I remind her that we could not be more beautiful and perfect. For it is in the accusations and deeds unto you that your fellow man that shows you how he sees himself. And it is in this moment that you become a conduit to transform this hateful energy into love, forgiveness and compassion.

If you recognize yourself in all others, you will see their divinity and know that a million thank you’s is the most suitable response to your fellow man who brings you this gift from heaven: a mirror so clear that you may recognize where he is, forgive immediately, transform the energy and offer it out into the world as a unified prayer for peace.

But make no mistake; by no means does this translate into tolerating others’ behaviors and allowing them to treat you less than you treat yourself.

For when you arrive in the frequency of truth and love, you have created very viable boundaries and allow no such capricious behavior to be part of your inner world, simply because you do not transmit this energy and have no room for it in your life.

As a species, we all share a single dream of attaining perfection, each one individually weaving together the interconnectivity that unifies us as one, where we reach the end of our story on planet Earth, and we move into the beginning of our universal life. . .

Taia Dzyan was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and grew up fascinated with psychology, human behavior, and child development. She has a deep passion for the workings of the inner body, ranging from the physicality of the body itself to the mental, emotional and spiritual realms. Her passion encompasses and extends to the personal mastery developed through human relationships. At 26, a profound inner transformation radically changed the course of her life, and instilled in her the belief of extra-terrestrial life. She spend the next few years devoted to understanding, integrating, and deepening that transformation, which marked the beginning of an intense inward journey. While in Miami, she began working with individuals and small groups as a counselor and spiritual teacher. At the core of her teaching lies a truth beyond the constraints of her former beliefs, encompassing the transcendence of the shadow self, also known as the ego state consciousness and also our interconnectivity to life beyond planet Earth.

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Editor: Cassandra Smith

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