Why I decided to teach yoga.

I have struggled with my body image for as long as I can remember. After being diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa and Anorexia a few years ago, my running, eating, gym—everything important to me was overthrown. It became a hurricane of doctors, nutritionists, and therapists. I was in a state of overwhelming unrest. As I began my journey of getting my life back, I was still scared to get on a scale or go to the gym. I didn’t know how to measure my health anymore and I was far from comfortable in my body.

That was when my therapist suggested yoga. At first I felt so out of place walking into a yoga class. I was a gym rat, a runner. I didn’t move slow nor was I thoughtful of my movements while working out. I only loved what hurt because I thought it meant I was doing something right.

Yoga was totally different than anything I had done. In class, the people next to me weren’t the snooty, skinny snobs I had expected. They were just people! They were happy, loving, balanced people. Not perfect. They were just on a level I didn’t know existed. It was outside the realm I knew.

At my first yoga class I was in love. My body was sore from strengthening it, not from beating it up the way I would have done. I didn’t feel exhausted, I felt renewed, invigorated, even reborn!

My teacher had talked about compassion for myself and for others, a thought I had always left behind when heading out for a run. By the end of a week of sweaty yoga classes, my body was worn and my mind was soaring.

I had found people who loved and respected their bodies, and who welcomed me. They let me sweat. They let me cry.

My body was stronger at a core level than I ever accomplished with thousands of crunches and squats. I was calm. My road rage was gone. Best of all, when I looked in the mirror I was beginning to see a marvelous mass of energy: one that carried me through yoga class and out into the world with strength, grace and an outstanding resilience—a body that I could and should nourish lovingly so that it can continue to carry me.I quit viewing my classes as my work out and started viewing them as a necessary part of my life: mentally, physically and spiritually.

I have continued my yoga practice now for just over a year. I have chosen to stick mostly to sweaty yoga at Black Swan. The more I go the more I learn and the more I realize I still need to learn. I long to deepen my practice and understanding. After much thought, I know that the love and acceptance I have found there, the respect for my body and the world around me is something I want to share with others. I have decided that my path is leading me to become certified to teach Bikram yoga and share the blessing I have found.

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Melanie is currently taking part in the Yoga Teacher Training Challenge, which gives aspiring yoga teachers an opportunity to earn a scholarship to train as an instructor with Agama Yoga, Purna Yoga East, Tribe Yoga, Pranashama Yoga Institute or Himalaya Valley Yoga.