Kevin Nealon: I’m here to talk to you about Canadians. Trench mouth. Backward baseball hats. I’m hear to talk to you about trichanosafopa…texting while scuba diving.

Gonorrhea, lazy ear, infantile baldness, too many whales, skateboarding in hospitals, kangaroo impotence. They aren’t real problems.

One thing we can and should address: making LA a no-kill city.

Lazy ear… infantile baldness… bulimic insomnia….There are a lot of problems we can’t fix, but making L.A. a no-kill city isn’t one of them. Get involved at http://NKLA.org