Damnit Janet I can not handle...there’s some good not-so-yogic lyrics in this here silly alert.

PS: for all those offended by these lyrics, click here and get upset about this instead—it really matters.

LYRICS:
Ooooooooooommmmmm…

JELLY: Shit! I got a yoga boner Teacher? want to get up on her Students? I wanna tap these ladies
on their backs in a happy baby

DIGGS: damn, I got a yoga stiffy… this situation’s iffy if these new age chicks take a look at my dick
stickin out, shit they gon hit me

JELLY: ooh, I want to do you women
woo you outta your lulu lemon

DIGGS: Damn it, Janet! I cannot handle
ya camel toe when ya land in camel

JELLY: Sasha, I don’t mean to harass ya but i love yo ass-uh, when you do a vinyasa
nasa-shavashna…

DIGGS: Uhh… that ain’t a thing.

BOTH: Oouu! the way you bend like a pretzel it’s hella sexual What my gonna DO? (whisper: I’m confused.) i want to get next to you can i interest you in a Yoga Boner-er-er-er?!

DIGGS: That’s what we call the hook of the song… Where’s Jelly?

JELLY: floatin with my third eye open
hopin my third leg gets some gropin

INSTRUCTOR: picture yourself on a prana ocean

JELLY: keep talkin like that, i’ll blow my load, hun

DIGGS: I can’t believe this shit’s in Oakland

JELLY: I can’t believe my hips are open!

INSTRUCTOR: your inner-child will rise to meet us

JELLY: not to mention my inner pe-nus

DIGGS: i want a yoga hotty, one with a yoga body

JELLY: and she hasta be a jedi masta
’cause she talks like Yoda only sorta naughty

DIGGS: i’ll give ya a spank holdin’ plank

JELLY: i like your dolphin, you come here often?

DIGGS: bro, let me get my hands on those

JELLY: dude, hold up, that’s child’s pose

BOTH: cock block!

BOTH: Heh… What?
Oouu! good goddess good gracious your taint is right where my face is Boo! (whisper: can i call you boo?) I will be a warrior for you I’ll be a warrior too with my Yoga Boner-er-errrr!

JELLY: Hold up… why they all lookin at me Like the whole class is about ta slap me

DD: dude, you know what they say ya can’t spell Namaste without most ah nasty so what up girl let’s do this

JELLY: smoke some Buddha, ya sexy Buddhists.

DD: aren’t you hippies mostly nudists?

ALL GIRLS: No…we were sent here by Shiva to destroy you.

BOTH: Ohh… you’re even more sexy
When you’re snappin my neck
I think you broke my nose
You don’t know what you do to me
I’m bleeding profusely from my Yoga Boner-er-errrr!

JELLY: If this is chattar-WRONG-ah… i don’t want to be right.

DIGGS: Girl, you don’t love me. You just love my downward doggystyle

~

They call it…”Yoga”.

With thanks for the hot tip to number one on this list.