The payoff for owning up to and clearing out what no longer supports the life we are creating is the triumph of living a full, radical and wonderful life.

Despite the sincerity of our commitment to our New Year’s resolutions, intentions and goals when the clock strikes midnight, many of us find ourselves falling off the proverbial wagon at some point during the year.

Why does this happen? What can we do to fully surrender ourselves to the astonishing potential of 2013?

To begin with, we can explore the presence of competing intentions and a fear of change.

Looking at my own intentions, I realized that in 2013 I resolved to pay off each one of my credit cards. I also set the intention to travel through this breathtakingly beautiful country to which I recently relocated. At first glance, both of these intentions may seem perfectly harmonious.

Scratching beneath the surface however, reveals that most of my credit card debt comes from many a travel adventure. This is not to say that I need to completely throw out one so that the other may take root.

What is necessary is being more specific with my intentions, thereby giving both the best opportunity to succeed. One possible solution is to resolve to pay off 50% of my credit card debt and agree that any traveling in 2013 will not add to my current debt.

Are any of your intentions competing with one another? If so, what are you willing to sacrifice so that your intentions have the very best chance of being fulfilled?

When looking at the possibility of an undercurrent of fear of change, a good place to start is by asking ourselves what we would have to give up to experience a specific intention in our lives.

More than likely what we need to give up isn’t something physical. Rather, it’s a belief, judgment or interpretation we hold about ourselves, others or the world around us.

An intention that found its way onto my list year after year was to experience an enduring, loving relationship. Gratefully, that’s not on my list anymore.

The reason why it was on my list for so many years without coming to fruition?

Fear of change.

In order to experience a genuine connection with a partner, we must feel that connection with ourselves first. Yep, I’m going to go ahead and promote something we’ve all heard, but perhaps haven’t listened to. 

We must love ourselves first before we can ever experience that feeling of love from and for another.

I had to be willing to fully face, heal and set aside the tired, worn out story that was running amuck in my life—that of not being good enough, being unlovable and being unworthy of having what I truly wanted.

What I needed was a perception adjustment.

I had to be willing to change how I perceived myself, which then shifted how I related to men and my experience of relationships. Ultimately, it grew my capacity to let love in.

Then I committed to getting on the path of falling head over heels in love with myself.

I mean, why not? I am awesome. And I confess, I still have off days. And as if perfectly synchronized, so does my relationship.

But that’s part of the process of navigating the sometimes rough waters of unlearning all the bull@#*t we’ve gathered along the way.

The payoff for owning up to and clearing out what no longer supports the life we are creating is the triumph of living a full, radical and wonderful life.

How can one possibly handle that much goodness and amazement?

You get used to it. I promise.

Since awareness is the first, biggest and bravest step to change, know that by simply acknowledging these areas is enough right now. With this recognition we become consciously aware of when these beliefs, judgments and patterns are interfering with what we truly want.

From that place of awareness, we can choose otherwise.

Go ahead, choose otherwise. See what happens.

When we admit that we have fallen off the resolution wagon we begin to ask if the intentions and goals we set are what we really want.

What if, instead of choosing intentions, we let the intentions choose us? All too often we make resolutions and goals that we think we should make. How would our resolutions and intentions change if we took the should out of the equation?

We’d have the opportunity to feel what we truly want to experience.

Maybe instead of losing 10 pounds, what we really want is to dance more. Or perhaps we release the intention of finding a relationship and instead become our own best partner.

Whatever intentions choose you, keep in mind the importance of not overcommitting—being realistic about what you can do—and of taking small and intentional steps every day. If we follow those two guidelines, we set ourselves up for success.

Now that we have cleared competing intentions, brought awareness to the presence of fear of change and clarified that our goals and steps along the path are born of their own free will, we are ready to get back on the wagon and get those wheels rolling.

A crucial element in any journey is the company we keep. I find an incredibly helpful and insightful addition to this adventure is to find an accountability buddy—someone who is vested in our authentic success. This reciprocal relationship is rich in compassion and enthusiasm and brings forth opportunities to explore why we may have strayed and what we can do to course-correct.

What’s most important on any journey worth taking, is being kind to ourselves when and if we waiver from our resolutions. The essential practice of celebrating wins along the way and acknowledging that each moment offers itself to us, is a place for our dreams to ignite.

Go on, let 2013 have its way with you!

Prairie Pritchett’s idea of the perfect day is enjoying an as-soon-as-you-roll-out-of-bed cup of coffee, several hours of playful, insightful writing, a couple hours of dancing, practicing yoga, running, hiking or cycling in the great outdoors of New Zealand, a few delicious, organic and homemade-with-love meals shared with new friends, morning and nighttime cuddles, surprise lunchtime smooches from her hubby and finally, Skyping with her family—who she lives way too far away from and misses dearly, yet remembers that for love we tend set off on wild, wonderful adventures. She ends the day with a simple and heart-felt, thank you. You can read more of Prairie’s writings at heregoeseverything.posterous.com and stumblingthroughintersections.posterous.com, two blogs she has resolved to pay more attention to in the new year. You can reach her at facebook.com/prairiejayne

~

Assistant Ed: Stephanie V.

 

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