What is love, other than the most widely overused and possibly the most whored-out word on the planet?

Hell, I even named my blog lovetmah.com—sheeza!

Phrases like “Be love,” “I am love” and “Flex that self love muscle,” are commonly thrown around in both the spiritual arena and daily life. They sound great—so soft, nice and fluffy.

But my inner cynic has to wonder: What is this love business? Why does this neo-spiritual, inspirational life quoting stuff all sound so charming on the surface but then feel so sickly and gross at the same time? Am I just a loser who missed the ‘love life’ memo?

It worked out quite fortunate for my spiritual development that I have two teachers who seem to be as despairing of all that palaver as I am. They shared this viewpoint in which to understand love:

1. Everyday Love

I like to think of this as love with a cost or an expectation; so often we rely on the people that we care for to make us happy. The words “I love you” actually translates into here’s “my love’ and now its your job to make me happy, to entertain me and to earnestly tend to all my needs and wants.

I honestly believe that real love is smarter than that—and that love truly exists without these limitations or obligations.

To me, everyday love is where you look for love outside yourself. It’s where you look to others to fill you up. To truly live a spiritual life you first have to ‘fill up your own cup’ or love yourself first so that you have something of value and substance to really share with others.

2. True Love

Possibly the greatest yet the most misunderstood force on the planet.

A few years ago, I was going through a really rough time; I felt as though I didn’t know who I was nor did I have a deeper or more meaningful purpose. Through a period of extreme introspection and deep meditation, I had a profound experience of exiting my body and going into a space of deep oneness with all that is.

I felt myself as being part of the “is-ness” of life. In that split second, I became the trees around me, the grass beneath me, the sky above me, I saw myself as a part of everything and I saw the interconnectedness with all that is.

I believe that it was the force of love that helped me to remove the illusion of separatism and to realize that we are one, have always been one and we’ll always be one.

Love should bring us into a new state of understanding and living where we’re able to go beyond separation and to surrender into a true state of connection.

Ultimately love has very little to do with gratitude statements, cute photos or inspirational life quotes. These may look and feel nice, but I feel that they are missing the point of what love truly is.

So yes, go out there and “Be Love,” but with an understanding of what that truly is.

Tanya Maria Mah is a designer, a super-duper account manager, an occasional seeker of all things true, a yogi, a hippie (not a hipster), a teeny-tiny disco dancer, a sometimes-cook and an eternal optimist. She can be creative, am frequently inappropriate and she aspires for inspiration.Tanya writes about health, happiness, yoga, meditation and hangovers.She likes crazy disco dancing, lazy beach days, pub trivia, big belly laughs, festivals, copious amounts of wine, and eating (a lot!)When asked for a bio, Tanya Facebook-polled her friends for one word that describes her and they came up with the following: loves hearts, crazy (this was mentioned a few times!), sunshine, bubbly, meatball, mcskank (personal joke), excitable, spunky monkey, delicious, pixie and charismatically crazy (a new spin on an old favorite!) Tanya Mah can be found at lovetmah.com.

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Assistant Ed: Sarah Winner
Ed: Bryonie Wise