Masturbation has everything to do with you.

Sometimes it feels good to touch yourself; as in it sometimes feels just as good, if not better, to touch yourself, than to be touched by your lover.

No one is going to touch you like you do.

In fact, dare I say that if your lover knows your body better than you do, then it is time to drop your undies and see what kind of good is going on down there. Graduate to a whole new level with your smart phone and start taking pictures of your amazing genitals.

Then gaze at those pictures until you can fully understand that you have nature’s rainbow right between your legs!

Although the primary focus of masturbation is genital stimulation, it doesn’t have to be confined to just that.

Masturbation can be about learning what turns you on. Masturbation can be about discovering that you are your own beloved. Masturbation can be about setting and enacting intentions for receiving pleasure. Masturbation can be about creating boundaries for alone time.

Masturbation can be whatever the f**k you want it to be because, after all, it is totally about you.

In your lifetime, you will have a few lovers; you may have just one lover who turns into a life partner—and you may have a life partner that doesn’t turn into a lover. No matter the configuration or quantity, the most consistent and lasting relationship you will have is with yourself.

When depending on outside sources, the frequency and quality of sensuality and sexual touch remains varied. In the face of uncertainty, in the depths of loneliness, across the oceans of “When will I be loved?” there will always be masturbation.

Masturbation has an interesting cultural history; the shame that exists around it is pervasive and antiquated. Remove the Church from the picture; erase what your parents taught you about “going blind.”

And, if you have one, let your partner know that wanting to make love yourself has nothing to do with them.

In fact, if you know how to love on yourself, you will be better equipped to communicate love to your lover and the world at large. Start with you.

Further, on Valentine’s Day and for the rest of the year, shake up tradition and wash yourself in unabashed pleasure instead of cliché romance.

Reach out and touch yourself.

Like elephant journal gets sexy on Facebook.

Ed: Bryonie Wise