Why do people feel the need to own guns?

I feel there is something much deeper they are looking for, something more than just an automatic Heckler and Koch MP-5SD with a 30-round banana clip and a detachable night-vision scope (or a Red Rider BB gun, or whatever ‘cool gun’ image they have in their heads).

I can’t really speak for others, but I know when I was running down the street towards Columbine High School (empty-handed) and listening to the shots, what I wanted was not any particular gun model but something more—the ability to hold off chaos, to stare the elephant in the face and make it back down.

This manifested in my society-conditioned mind as the desire to have a gun, any gun, so that I could shoot the f*ck out of those nuts that were shooting at my son—and make them stop!

It wasn’t until after the dust settled that I realized the absurdity, and ultimate futility, of this desire—or until I realized the affliction this type of thought represented. Thinking that more violence will solve the problem of violence is not just illogical and poor thinking—it is a dangerous and unhelpful misconception.

No amount of guns can stop the unpredictable nature of life, or the second law of thermodynamics—chaos rules and all things tend toward entropy. All the guns in Texas cannot make the world a safe and predictable place. And, you can’t make your enemies see your way by virtue by way of a firearm.

The biggest gun in the world will not make you a badass, if you aren’t one already.

And after all, who really wants to be a badass? No one really likes a badass, and yet, everyone loathes and fears one. A party full of bad asses is not a party–it’s a disaster. Badasses do not rank high on the better invitation lists.

We who abhor guns are tempted to try to use force to make the gun people see reason, to give up their futile guns, to see it our way, to knuckle under to the wishes of the saner portions of society.

That tactic won’t work with the die-hard gun fanatics. That type of stuff just makes them hunker down, dig in their heels and clutch their precious guns even more tightly. Besides, then we are using the same approach that we want them to stop using: violence.

Hypocrisy never helps.

Besides, our government has tried ‘making’ people do things before. They built penitentiaries to make the criminals become better citizens. They tried to legislate morality. They even invaded other sovereign countries to force them become a better member of the world community—or, to at least make them stop being such a ‘bad’ member. In all of these cases, both parties in Congress tried to force each other to bend to their will or power.

And how did all of that work for us?

Why do we think it will work with people who sport stickers saying we can have their guns when we pry them from their cold, dead fingers? It hasn’t worked before, what would make force work this time? I suggest we would get further with education than with force. Yet, I feel many thousands more will be murdered in the time it takes to get through to people.

Reality check:

You are more likely to shoot your spouse—or to provide a gun for your child to shoot their friend, or God forbid, their sibling—than you are to successfully use that weapon to defend yourself or your country. This is just plain, and verifiable, fact.

Photo: Agitprop

Then why do the gun fanatics ignore all the gruesome evidence? Hollywood, and the NRA, have conditioned them to believe that this approach of non-violence won’t work that way for them. That they’ll somehow beat these odds and make the world a nicer, safer place with their gun—and, in the end, become a hero to the accolades of all (even their previous detractors).

Even if force could be solved by force, what makes people think they can solve these imputed problems themselves, when all others throughout history have failed? Are we modern Americans better, faster, stronger, healthier than our predecessors? Or, is it that our bigger and more powerful guns are supposed to help us in some way?

Soldiers have the most powerful weapons available. They train for months and years, to use these weapons in support of a coordinated team, and yet, they still fail to beat force with a bigger force on a regular basis.

What then makes people think that the average morbidly obese, untrained and unsupported American can do any better? Is it massive ignorance, a missing piece of the brain (or heart), or just blind arrogance? I’m leaning towards blind arrogance, which has been the bane of the peaceful and non-peaceful throughout time. That, and the massive brainwashing of false ideas from both Hollywood and the trillion-dollar gun industry—which loves the distorted type of thinking gun advocates typically exhibit.

To a hammer, the whole world looks like nails. To a person with a gun in their hand, the whole world looks like a target.

What would have happened if I had not turned around when the SWAT got there? If I had gone into that school (Columbine High School) with a gun in my hand?

First, I would have already been too late, for the shots I heard while running turned out to be the last shots fired. Yet what if, in my adrenaline-charged state, an innocent kid ran out of a door unexpectedly? Chances are I would have shot that kid—perhaps, mistaking them for the ‘bad guy’ in the heat of the moment. And in doing so, I would have made this whole situation worse.

But, what if I was not ‘too late’? A shootout in a school with some heavily armed nuts? Yeah, that sounds like a solution—one in which even more innocent bystanders get killed and maybe my own self, as well. So then, I would be adding to my son’s trauma by giving him a dead dad. Great deal, eh?

Meddling or fighting violence with violence is demonstrably ridiculous. It’s a childish and Neaderthalian way of reasoning and solving problems.

So, that ‘great reason’ for gun ownership is out.

Yeah, but what if a bunch of Chinese paratroopers suddenly came falling from the sky? Well, if that happened, your Red Dawn fantasy would most likely end with you dying. A bunch of fat, individualistic Americans with no training and civilian-owned guns are not going to stop an invasion by a well-trained and well-equipped professional force. So, scratch that ‘Bruce Willis saves the world from evil’ fantasy reason, too.

Oh, well…what if we need the guns to stop a rampant government gone insane?

Folks that sounds good in books and in gun debates, but how far do you think our semi-automatic weapons will do against killer drones, F-16s, and the 101st Airborne? If the government goes nuts and we want to stop it—it will be through peaceful means, and within the system. Because, your puny guns sure won’t stop this Leviathan.

That leaves the old excuse of hunting and sportsmanship. Look, I got news for you—hunting animals with a high-powered rifle and a scope (and God forbid, a tree-stand, in a backwards-ass place that allow such nonsense) is the opposite of good sportsmanship.

If you want to make it sporting, give your quarry a chance. Use a bow and arrow and hunt it. Creep and crawl and use your outdoor skills to show what a ‘Great White Hunter‘ you really are—not by using a lot of technology made for weaklings who don’t know how to really hunt.

Scratch that feeble excuse, too.

Oh yeah, self-protection—that’s a big one. Just how good a shot are you? Can you plug a robber when half awake, in the dark? Probably all that you’ll be able to do is to get yourself and your family killed. Without the gun, they would probably just rob you. When you are holding a gun, you force them (in their minds) to shoot you, and then kill your family as witnesses. And, if your home defense plans succeed? You’ll have killed a human being to protect…what? Your precious TV set?

Say you are on the streets and a gang of mean kids wants to mug you. If you are empty-handed, you will maybe get an ass-kicking and lose a few bucks (and possibly, a little false pride.) Yet, if you have a gun, suddenly you become a bad ‘mo-fo’ who ‘ain’t taking no shit from anyone.’ So you kill (or shoot) them—just to save the money in your wallet or prevent a black eye. Would that be worth it? How much time would you have to spend in court or jail until your ‘innocence’ is proven? How would you like to see their exploding heads or dying gasps for the rest of your life, every night at 3:00 A.M.? Would that be worth it, just to save some money…or pride? Self-defense is as stupid a rationalization as defense of this country.

So, that leaves…target shooting. Yeah, what a sport…what a challenge. It’s really tough to hit a stationary target with a scoped weapon, isn’t it? If you want to pound your chest about what a great target shooter you are, go get a longbow, or a tomahawk, or something that takes skill—not something that uses a weapon (and a scope) to mask your lack of skill.

So, that brings us back to fear. These scared people think guns will somehow solve their problems, or, at the very least, make them tough and safe.

When have guns ever solved a problem? In nearly every situation, guns cause problems, instead of solving them.

The Constitution of the United States does indeed state that ‘the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.’ We live in an ostensibly democratic country. Which means, that the people who want guns to go away will have to unite and vote to repeal the second amendment. Nothing less will do. Bandaging an arterial bleed by using partial and unconstitutional restrictions will simply exacerbate the problem.

Likewise, if the shooters in our country succeed in voting to defend the Second Amendment, or worse, make a new one with clearer wording about gun ‘rights,’ then we will all have to accept that as well—even if it does brand our country as a semi-psychotic and poor neighbor to all other countries on ‘Spaceship Earth.’

If that happens, maybe we can change the slogan on our one dollar bills to ‘In Guns We Trust.’

Still, at some point, an international coalition may decide the U.S. needs to be brought under control and the may impose some form of sanctions on us. Yes, peaceful means, not the invasion the gun nuts hope for.

At that point, saner voices may rule, even if those sane voices are not the majority of the American public.

Mark-Francis Mullen is lucky enough to live in Boulder, Colorado amongst a vibrant yoga community. He is called to be a guide to those who think they are ‘too something’ for yoga (too old, too sick, too fat, etc.). He loves life.

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Eds. T. Lemieux/K. Bartolotta