Gorgeous wildness from The White Deer.

“Searching all directions with one’s awareness, one finds no one dearer than oneself.
In the same way, others are fiercely dear to themselves.
So one should not hurt others if one loves oneself.”

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Yesterday was day three of our five day juice cleanse. The dust has been stirred, the clearing is in full swing and the angst and fear have been given a chance to breathe. Kate and I have been chatting on Skype about what yesterday was like for us both, and I’m happy to share that “stabby” has evolved into our hearts cracking open.

 

Day Three for Bryonie went like this:

Calm and joy woke up with me yesterday morning (and still, the animals on the bed).

Today is day three, I thought—I’m almost there—and then, something inside of me said, I knew you were strong enough to do this; here is the light and you are near the end of the tunnel. 

I don’t remember ever thinking that I was going to quit or that I was going to fail—my intention when I set out to do the five day juice cleanse wasn’t to punish or test myself—but, I see now that it was to challenge me—it was, in some ways to test the strength of my heart, my mind, my spirit.

Wrapped up in kindness and in love, there are times (if we choose them) that we need to stop and reassess where we are in our lives—we need to clear the shit out, of our bodies, homes, minds, so that we can truly let the sun shine in—so that we can let our wild nature be free.

This is what this week has been about—letting myself be free. As much as the first part of the week felt oppressive and sad (at times) yesterday was the day I came back to life. The chatter that had been dominating my mind has settled into this newness—this quiet.

The slate has been wiped clean and now it’s time to let the dreams out of their cage and let them breathe air and come to life.

I was startlingly aware; of my body, of the present moment, of each sound and each thought.

In the midst of my aloneness, while I bathed in the pleasure of my own company, I realized how much I missed the company of other human beings. While solitude is fuel for me (introvert that I am), we all need (and deserve) to be loved.

Love comes in many forms and yesterday, I witnessed myself being loved by my love pitting a zillion cherries for the juice cleanse that has amplified my emotions—that one small act was the size of the universe to me.

I accept the love I think I deserve. 

I felt that resonante through me—I could see, in that moment, how the love I give myself is what I think I deserve and the love I have to sometimes fight myself to receive is what I deserve.

Don’t we all deserve love that’s as big as the universe? Bigger even?

As Day Three came to a close, I finished cleansing the house and tumbled into a hot bath. Body, mind and spirit, vibrating in this new space, my home. Heart, beating like wildfire, ready to move forward, into Day Four.

Best juice of the day? The one I made for my love.

a dash of cherries

a handful of raspberries

2 oranges

1 banana

1 apple

a bushel of sunflower sprouts

coconut water

***

Day Three for Kate went like this:

I went to bed early Tuesday night. Well, early for me. After stripping away some of my daily routine, it felt good to let my internal rhythms take over a little. No, I don’t need to check Facebook just one more time. No, I’m not going to edit just one more thing. I can answer that text in the morning. I slept deeply, but with bizarre and lucid dreams.

When I awoke, I felt sort of a hum in my skin. I’ve felt it before. I feel it after a good strong practice. I feel it if I’ve been eating mainly whole or raw foods that my body is hungry for. I feel it when I get enough rest, speak my mind enough, spend time lying on the ground and playing in the fresh air. I feel it when I laugh enough.

I felt my wildness.

I think we feel that good, deep wild feeling when we let go of our habits a bit. It opens us up and reminds us what we’re like, essentially, without all the ego and busyness and scripts we usually use. So, day three was somewhere between, “I could get used to this; this feels right,” and “Hmm, I still would really like to chew something.” It’s a good thing. It’s shaking off the things I didn’t need, and shifting the good stuff around to where it can really blossom.

While part of this has made me really introspective (and stabby and forlorn at times), part of it has made me look at how I relate to others as well. The way we nourish ourselves physically is often a good picture or mirror of how we allow ourselves to be fed in other areas of our lives. I know that the way I take care of my nutritional needs is often erratic. I often put off my own needs to help others or get things done.

In other words, I’m not very good at receiving.

While some people think of juicing and cleanses as some kind of deprivation, I look at it a little differently. When we simplify our food in a way that makes it more digestible, and easier to get what’s best of it, we nourish ourselves more, not less. We aren’t babies, so it isn’t necessarily beneficial long term, but there are definitely times when babying ourselves is needed.

I fight this. I think I don’t ever need it. I don’t need to be taken care of. I don’t need to be kinder to myself. I don’t need to let people help me.

(But I’m wrong. I do.)

As I moved some things into my new place yesterday, my landlords (who I’m sure were busy with their own things) stopped what they were doing to help me. They insisted on helping carry things in and put them away. I felt a little bit uncomfortable at first, like I was imposing. But the truth is, I was so tired I wanted to cry. The fact that they were so willing to drop what they were doing and help really touched me.

When we start being kinder to ourselves, we have more to give to others. When we allow others to give to us, we grow. We have more to give back. We are stronger, and our relationships are stronger too.

Best of the day: Rasp-acado Smoothie.

A friend asked on Facebook if we were doing strictly extracted juices or also blended stuff. We are both doing a bit of both. The goal here is simplifying, slowing down and treating our bodies and hearts with kindness—not adhering religiously to a specific rule set.

I have a daily yoga practice—an hour plus, six days a week—sometimes at the studio and sometimes at home. Juice or no, I want to make sure I’m getting adequate nutrients to sustain that. I’ve included one heartier smoothie every day.

This one:

A generous cup of raspberries

1/2 avocado

1 cup coconut water

1 Tablespoon of Spectrum’s Decadent Blend Chia & Flaxseed mix

It was amazing. I highly recommend you make one immediately.

Follow the moment-by-moment details of our juicing adventures on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter with #kandbjuicecleanse.

Have any great juice recipes that make your heart beat quicker? We’d love to hear them!

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Ed: Kate Bartolotta & Bryonie Wise