How many words do you know that are as multi-dimensional, misunderstood and magical as that four letter one?

From the time we take our first breath to the moment of our last, it is what we crave and fear, run away from and hold dear.

 L-O-V-E. is what I’m talking about.

It is a subject that is endlessly fascinating and fodder for story and song, with good reason. All life thrives on its nourishing qualities and without positive expression, it is merely a day to day existence we have, rather than the fullness and richness we deserve simply by being born.

As a therapist, I have long been interested in the subject, and a few years ago, wrote a treatise of sorts that became a Valentines’ Day gift to my family and friends. I invite you to consider these words and then ask yourself how you might apply them in your own life.

What I’ve Learned About Love

Love without limits begins with self-love.

Can you truly adore the man or woman in the mirror?

Love is not a commodity to be traded in exchange for security, comfort or companionship. It is an energy and an essence that has always existed and always will exist.

What parts of your heart and soul have you given away as an insurance policy against rejection?

The source is love is not another person. It is within you. You are love incarnate.

What if you turned inward and not outward in search of love?

Ask yourself WWLD? What would love do? And then do it! If love were a being, how would it interact with the world?

If you feel unlovable, take a moment to consider the innocent child you once were and ask “Am I any less worthy of love that little one?”

Take out a photo of yourself as a child and gaze into his or her eyes with all of the compassion you contain within you. What do you see? What do you want to tell her or him?

Learn to love with abandon without fear of being abandoned. This is one of the most challenging as you cast yourself heart forward, trusting that you will be safely held and cradled.

Be a love sponge that soaks it all up and then wring it out on those you encounter.

Most of us have learned to keep our Teflon shields up, thus deflecting love, rather than being willing to drink it all in, slurping the juice from the bottom of the glass.

Love never dies even if the person does. Their love surrounds you as if a warm, cozy blanket in your favorite color.

Hold the images in your heart and mind of those who have ‘left the building’ and let the love that they will always be, remain with you, enfolding you.

No one will ever love you enough to make up for not loving yourself.

You are not incomplete without the love that you thought you needed from someone else.

Ask yourself this question: “Would I want to be married to me?” If not, could you expect that anyone else would want to?

Everyone in our lives is on loan to us. Love them now.

Take a moment to bring to mind those whose presence enhances your life immeasurably and then send them a blessing. Guaranteed they will receive it.

Love doesn’t leave, even if the person does. It leaves an imprint in our hearts forever.

Love is never wasted. We learn so much from those we have allowed into our hearts. What have your love lessons been?

Everyone you now know and love was once a stranger. Welcome new kindred spirits into your overlapping soul circles.

Enabling isn’t the same as loving. Allowing someone else to fall down and pick themselves up may well be the most loving gesture you can offer.

Love simply… is.

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Ed: Sara Crolick

{Photo: via Helga Weber}