When we are no longer able to change a situation—we are challenged to change ourselves. ~ Viktor E. Frankl

Those that have lost it know. Those that have it, revel in it. Those that want it, pursue it.

You can call it your dream, your gift, you talent or your mojo. But when you get up one morning and it’s gone, you feel this big gaping hole that’s left and you wonder if you will ever get it back.

Growing up, I had this image of what life would be like one day.

I envisioned a nice house—big enough to feel roomy but not necessarily huge.

I envisioned a family—two kids and a dog.

I envisioned a doting husband that would be supportive, even in times of marital weakness.

I dreamed of an ideal career—one that would be flexible around my duties at home, yet keep me pleasantly busy and content while away.

I imagined family dinners and warm, Norman Rockwell Christmases and tropical vacations.

But sometimes life turns direction and doesn’t go as planned. Actually, for most people, life doesn’t go as they planned because that’s what happens along the journey.

So what do you do when your dreams deflate? When jobs are lost, the house is foreclosed, family dinners are strained, and the bonds of marriage break? Where do you go from here when here is in the middle of nowhere?

After getting thrown for a loop, no matter what that loop is, creating a new beginning can be daunting.

You start with a choice.

I chose every step I made, even when it was a mistake. I chose the person I married and the job I would take, so I know I am responsible for every feeling whether it be joy or sadness—or at least some of those feelings.

Being responsible for your own happiness is a huge undertaking and you may not want to accept it. Happiness is what we all want, is it not? So why wouldn’t you want the task of acquiring it?

Admitting that you have failed is incredibly humbling. So humbling, in fact, that our ego can hold on so tightly that we are left standing alone holding that dream above us yelling “This is what I want! I won’t let go!” Pulling the go back to start card is frustrating.

But I can choose to let go.

I can choose to live the way I want and to learn from my mistakes. I can look for the good in people and recognize myself in their faults. I don’t need anyone’s approval but my own and I know I am capable of doing what is right. I can choose freedom.

So you may have to dive into unchartered territory. You may have to take a risk and leave yourself open for criticism. You won’t know if you don’t give yourself the chance so why not give it 100 percent?

Getting your mojo back starts with a single step. What do you do when your dreams deflate? You pick up the pieces, and build another dream. And just maybe—it will come back.

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Ed: Sara Crolick