Via Restless Tortuga

“LMK if Dad Makes it, K? THX!”

Texting is great for lots of things.

I actually prefer texting to a phone call, most times. It’s a quick, convenient way to stay in touch.

Some people, though, seem to have forgotten when texting is appropriate, and when it isn’t—ever.

The idiots’ guide to when not to text:

1. Don’t text during your wedding.

2. Don’t text during a funeral.

3. Don’t text while walking.

4. Don’t text during sex.

5. Don’t text during yoga class (unless you work for Facebook).

6. Don’t text during meals.

Now, some people would argue with that one, but to me, be where you are. Talk with the people you’re with. Unless it’s a quick text to someone on their way to meet you: Put the phone down.

7. Don’t text while driving. Ever. Ever. Please. Never.

8. Don’t text while walking. It bears repeating. You look like a jackass. You are going to trip and break your stupid smartphone.

9. Don’t text in the bathtub or on the toilet. I would hope this goes without saying (but I’m guessing it doesn’t).

and last but not least:

10. Don’t text while you are doing something else.

Just do one thing. Send a text and pay attention to that. Talk to the people who are with you and just do that.

Multitasking makes us stupid.

We all try to do it and end up doing everything mindlessly and without focus.

So if you are eating a peach, close your laptop and let that delicious peach juice drip all over your face and make a wonderful mess without worrying about your keyboard. If you are in the bathtub, just be there and let it be like liquid meditation. If you are making love, you better not be anywhere near that damn iPhone, please, for the love of Cary Grant and all that is sacred—just be present.

And if someone dies, make an actual phone call. Don’t be that guy.

Relephant bonus:

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