Every few days someone asks me why I left my successful career in the music industry to become a Vedic Astrologer.

I remember, years ago, when I had a Vedic Astrology reading with a friend. He took one look at my chart and said, “Wow. You’ve had a hard life.” I was stunned. No one had ever said that to me before. But I’d been secretly feeling it for a very long time.

In the world of personal development and self responsibility, it’s not exactly cool to walk around claiming hardships, especially when you’ve had a life that looks like mine.

I grew up with two loving parents who are still happily married. I never saw them fight. We lived in the same beautiful house in suburbia until I went to University. We were never short on money. I got everything I wanted. I did very well in school. I always had a boyfriend. I never gained weight. I got every job I ever applied for. By the time I was 28 I was a Vice President at a multinational record company and making a healthy six-figure salary.

Sounds pretty awful, I know.

But I never felt like I belonged.

Kids bullied me in school. My stomach hurt every single day. I once felt nauseous for a full year.  I felt a gnawing emptiness inside of me most days. I struggled with severe depression and anxiety. I wound up trying every psychiatric medication that existed in an attempt to experience a drop of happiness. Once in awhile I’d get the combination just right and find 20 minutes of peace.

No matter how good things looked from the outside, they never felt good on the inside. That was my life until I was 28.

It seemed like my prayers had been answered when I discovered the world of personal development and transformation. I thought that taking responsibility for my life would make everything better. Surely, if I held anything as a possibility, I could create whatever experience I wanted anytime I wanted it.

I quit my job, sold all of my belongings and surfed the pink cloud of the workshop world for a few years. It was glorious, at times. I experienced natural highs I never imagined were possible. I had incredible friends. I felt truly understood. Life was exciting.

I was finally creating my life… or was I?

It turned out I had moved from one external high to another. It was a step in the right direction, for sure, but not one that would lead me to sustainable happiness. Without the programs I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do. Without a career or a way to contribute to others in a meaningful way, I was lacking a sense of purpose.

Before long, the emptiness and depression returned, except I was no longer willing to treat it with escapism. I began to just sit with my emotions, feeling them fully and meditating with them. I was deep in the darkness and out of ideas. All that was left were my prayers and I pleaded with Grace to come rescue me from my directionless mess.

Grace must have heard me, because out of pure curiosity, I decided to get a Vedic Astrology reading. I never had an ounce of interest in Astrology up until this moment. But the minute my Astrologer told me, “Wow. You’ve had a hard life,” I knew I could trust him. He then pointed to the planetary periods I’d been running and said, “You’ve never experienced good energy. But you will in 5 years.”

Back then, 5 years seemed like an eternity. I had to endure 5 more years of feeling the way I felt? Was he kidding?

And yet, during those 5 years, his words were a beacon of light. He gave me something to look forward to. He gave my feelings a deadline. And he gave me permission to stop blaming myself for not feeling differently.

Many programs and teachers will lie to you. They will tell you that you are solely responsible for creating your life and your experience. But they are missing a huge piece—time.

Anything is possible if you work at it—anything.

But not necessarily soon or even in this lifetime. Your karma has an experience in store for you, one that you created in past lives and you are unlikely to escape it.

That is the cold, hard truth that Vedic Astrology will tell you, that almost no Western teacher wants to admit.

In India, people ask when they are going to die, if they will lose a child, if they will live in poverty. They want to know the truth. Most people are terrified to know the truth about their lives. But the adage is right:

The truth will set you free.

It will give you the freedom to stop trying to change yourself, which will give you the freedom to stop trying to change others. It will give you the freedom to focus on what’s truly aligned for you in this lifetime and the freedom to drop what isn’t.

If you spend your life trying to become an internet millionaire but you are destined to be a hospice worker, you are going to leave this world with a lot of unmet expectations and a real lack of fulfillment.

If you spend your life trying to become a jovial, wise mensch, when you are in fact emotionally deep and dark, you will miss out on the healing power of your compassion.

If you spend your life trying to become something other than what you are destined to become, you are in for a rocky ride. There is a time to fight for what you want and there is a time to surrender to what is.

What I love about Vedic Astrology is that it can tell you the difference. And if you can hear what is being said, a Vedic Astrology reading will have you breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Vedic Astrology chose me. I did not choose it.

I found myself mysteriously compelled to study for hours a day for years until I could give readings. I did not need to push to make it happen or change myself. It was already done.

Surrendering to my destiny of becoming a Vedic Astrologer is without a doubt the greatest, most sustainable joy of my existence. There is nothing that touches it or even comes close.

Am I happy all of the time? Is my life perfect now? God no. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like, but I do know that there is more joy in store for me (along with many challenges, of course).

With the knowing that everything changes eventually, I can relax and stop trying to have a different experience than the one I’m having. And paradoxically, that creates more happiness.

All it takes is knowing the truth, and I love to tell the truth. And that is why I became a Vedic Astrologer.

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Assist Ed: Gabriela Magana/Editor: Sara Crolick