Whenever I’m in my office (read: coffee shops) I talk to strangers, usually men.

I find them to be the friendlier, easier-to-strike-up-a-conversation-with sex so I take advantage to learn everything I can about them—and their take on us ladies—by asking a lot of questions.

Being curious (versus judgmental) gets me a lot more honest answers. (I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt on their honorability, because, well hell, men deserve that.)

I’ve also read a lot of self-development books on relationships (written by men) and watch the Steve Harvey show, which focuses on the male-female dynamic. I’m learning from the experts on the male psyche–men!

First, what is a Goddess? For the purpose of this essay a Goddess is a woman with great beauty and grace. (There are words like ‘deity’ and ‘worship’ attached to some definitions but no need to go there, beauty and grace are enough.)

So, without further ado, here’s an at least partial impartial list of what us lovely ladies can do to become our most irresistibly Goddessy selves, in no particular order:

1. Smile and laugh! Like, a lot.

A sincere smile and a genuine laugh add points to any person’s attractiveness factor. Not only that, but both are contagious and release feel good hormones, the very same ones both sexes experience while having, yes, sex. So, when we give a smile away, we’re giving others a double whammy. And how can any guy resist that?

Happy people are infectious, in a good way, and can light up a room, which brings us to number 2.

2. Lighten up!

Lose the luggage, or at least leave it unpacked in the attic. This isn’t to say we all don’t come with a history and current challenges, but how we choose to view life impacts those around us. Men love to help solve problems but we gotta remember that complainers are drainers. Losing the Negative Nelly attitude and instead being Solutions Sally will have men swaggering over to aid and assist.

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sing it).

Appreciating and thanking our knights in shining armour makes men want to actually be our knights in shining armour—or at least take out the trash, still a win in my book! (See: A Four Letter Word to Give Our Male Lovers – But It Takes a Brave Woman To Say It.)

We all respond better to positive affirmations and gracious gratefulness, but men especially do. They take it for what it is (unlike how sometimes we ladies get all suspicious with profferings of praise. Let that be a lesson to us!)

4. Love thyself!

Not in a narcissistic way. Men love us in all our various packaging. What men don’t love is having to constantly build up our self-esteem for us, and really that ought to be our job, anyhoo. Confidence is sexy. This differs from arrogance: being okay with ourselves and especially with the way we look, is an uber-appealing feature.

Let’s give the guy credit, he signed up for what we offered. Unless, of course, we’ve let ourselves go, which brings me to my next point…

5. Be healthy!

Or at least not less healthy than when he signed up to be with us. This isn’t just about physical appearance, though that can be a factor for some guys (don’t shoot the messenger), but what seems to be most important to men is that we can still do the things we used to do together! And if we’ve let ourselves slide, other than by unexpected health reasons, we probably aren’t high on points in categories #1 and/or #4. Oy.

Note 1: Runners up were ‘lose the lipstick,’— low maintenance was high on man points. As was being fun and interesting, thinking of new things to do so the dude doesn’t always have to.

Note 2: For the single songbirds looking for love, we’ll respect and love ourselves more when we’re as healthy as we can be and, as a bonus, are more likely to attract an equally healthy mate.

The old adage goes: Become the kind of person we want to be with.

By being or becoming our best, most irresistibly Goddessy selves, we’ll have more days with spontaneous smiles and unselfconscious laughter, and whether or not we’re sharing that with a male counterpart or a gal pal, or our kids or friends or pets, we all win! And that’s Goddessy greatness at its best.

Additional ideas and comments welcome!

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Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Wikimedia Commons