I’ve been battling depression for a long time now.

There are some complicating factors involved in my sadness, which I’ve written articles about before. But this particular cloud seems to be very dense and enduring.

I’m here though, without any idea how or if I will ever emerge from this darkness. I’m so incredibly sad that I spend a lot of time crying. I genuinely have no interest in anything I used to love to do. Lately, I can’t seem to force myself to go to the gym, to eat healthy, to lose weight, to smile, to write, to create things, or to believe in magic anymore.

The loss of someone very special to me has sent me reeling into the throws of deep and profound depression. I am coming here as a place to write what I am terrified to say out loud: I don’t want to live this way anymore.

I may not have answers, and I definitely have no idea where I am going or how my life is going to unfold further—but I know I must  do something. I actually cannot live this way anymore—it’s not that I don’t want to—it’s that I refuse to. I am clear that I’m the only one who can do anything about it, nobody else is coming to save me.

On that note, below is a list of five things I intend to begin immediately and will watch where it takes me. If any of you are feeling hopeless, depressed, or like your whole world is caving in and you are utterly alone, I request that you join me.

You can either work through this list along with me or you can create one of you own, but make it a doable list, and most importantly, make it something that you are willing to do.

1.  Stop drinking alcohol, at least for awhile.

It’s been 24 days now, and I promised myself I would cut out alcohol completely for at least 30 days. (I was ingesting it daily for quite some time.) It is liquid depression. This only compacts the problem when you feel out of control and emotionally drained. Trust me. Lay off the alcohol. Your mind/emotions/liver/body will thank you.

2. Move your body more.

Even if it’s just a 10 minute walk outside, do it. The endorphin’s that are created by our bodies are a natural and effective way to improve your outlook. Even when things seem the bleak, moving your body, ‘working it out’ actually does work things out. Begin with wherever you are; don’t push yourself too much—be gentle with your body and your goal here. The idea is to be more present in our bodies, to move in gentle but strong ways that make you feel alive.

3. Spend quality time with loved ones.

Spending time with people who you love and who genuinely love you, is therapeutic. Schedule brunch with your mom. Call your sister. Set up a get together with a friend you haven’t seen for months. Talking with loved ones also helps you realize that even if you have completely isolated yourself for awhile (like I tend to do), there are still people who love you. The greatest experiences thus  far in my life are the ones where I felt loved and where I blossomed in loving them too.

4. Create something.

Anything. Write a poem. Draw a picture. Create a scrap book. Plant a garden. Journal. Cook a healthy, colorful meal. Organize a free hugs event. The possibilities are endless, and in moving into a creative space within your mind/heart, the more and more life you bring to life. Literally.

5. Meditate regularly.

Every day is a good goal for regularly. Again, like with exercise, be gentle with yourself. Set a timer for 15 minutes at first. Listen to the sound of your breath, be present with your body, don’t ‘try’ to get anywhere or achieve anything…simply sit with yourself and let everything be as it is.

Share in the comments below what begins to emerge as you take daily, small steps toward the light. Let’s move through this tunnel together. Namaste.

Relephant Reads:

How Depression Serves Us

Waking Up: The Depression Fog 

Mindfulness: The Infinite Foolproof Resource

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

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