Into someone born between January 20th and February 18th?

I wrote horoscopes for 10 years; of course the sign I paid the most attention to was my own, the Aquarius.

Since I have another birthday coming up I decided it was time to help all of those other people out there understand the 11th Astrological sign on the zodiac calendar just a little bit better.

Here are 9 things that help improve relationships with an Aquarius:

1. Stimulate the Intellect
Nothing makes an Aquarius heart skip a beat faster than another human being that can match wits. As knowledge seekers, the Aquarian will not only want to learn from a partner, but also share as many intellectual adventures together as possible. Some such adventures to have with this sign could include watching a documentary, checking out a museum, spending an entire afternoon at a bookstore, going to a park to stare at the clouds while having a philosophical discussion and/or travelling abroad, to name a few.

2. Save the Drama For Your Mama
The Aquarius is a terrific problem solver—if the problem is something that needs a rational solution. The Aquarian is not one to wade in the muck of gossipy nonsense or help with issues that have no practical resolution available. Aquarians work much better big scale, like charity events or ending gender oppression compared to one-on-one situations with friends, family or lovers. So, remember go to an Aquarian when looking for a logical way to solve an issue, not just to vent.

3. Be One Step Ahead (If Possible)
The Aquarian is a future-seeker who goes after big change. They are definitely not afraid to be a leader when it comes to alternative thinking. Aquarius has a zeal for embracing all that comes with the new age and would prefer someone to hold hands with while jumping ahead than to be with someone stagnant or worse, stuck in the past.

4. Embrace Alone Time
Alone time is not just wanted by an Aquarian, it’s needed. Often, over time, a person in a relationship with an Aquarius will be able to sense when this aloofness is on its way and will know that creating space is the best way to go here. It’s not that there has been a sudden end in the liking of another person, it’s just that the Aquarian enjoys time for inner thoughts and discoveries; this affords the occasion to recharge, re-energize and refresh. It also gives Aquarian partners the opportunity to do their own thing as well.

5. Support the Eccentricities
Aquarians are the weirdest of the signs, that’s probably why more Aquarians are inventors than any other one out there. They see beyond what is there; they’re creative, innovative, and will say and do the strangest things; accept it, embrace it, enjoy it.

6. Be the Warmth
One thing that an Aquarian can really learn from others is the art of intimacy. They are so up in their heads rationalizing everything that they can end up coming off cold. They need someone ready and willing to help them open up more (of course they have to be ready and willing to give intimacy a whirl and that may be the more difficult challenge). There’s a great quote out there that goes something like, “with great intimacy one does not give up space, but expands both his and hers” (or her and hers or his and his). If one wants to get closer to an Aquarius, one must request the closeness.

7. Practice Golden-Retriever-Like Friendships
Once an Aquarius has decided to open up and trust someone they will be loyal to that person to the end—and they expect the same in return. They will protect and defend all who they love: friends, family, partners, and because it takes a while for an Aquarius to show vulnerability, when they do it’s a big deal that comes with grand rewards like loyalty, commitment, integrity. If it can not be or is not reciprocated they will quickly be over that person.

8. Be a Sexual Explorer
Innately curious and stemming from that love of learning, an Aquarius will easily transfer those traits to the bedroom—and they desire the same from a partner, or else why have a partner there at all?

9. Watch Them Spread Their Wings and Fly
Don’t be afraid to let go—maybe love is there but also with it, too much distant or coldness—don’t string along the Aquarian. They admire honesty and will continue to value an honest person instead of finding them weak and unworthy of continued involvement of any kind. Often the Aquarius feels caged and will do exude effort to expand and search for more out of life, sure the Aquarian wants someone with to share the adventure with, but wants someone there who is flexible and inquisitive—without those traits the Aquarian would rather go it alone.

Dating an Aquarius is a constant adventure; they are intelligent, quirky, and loyal but they can be aloof and overly rational. They are terrific lovers once they open up a bit more to intimacy, which can happen with the right warm person. They need someone who can both keep up and stand up, basically, a confident open-minded explorer.

The Aquarius is not the easiest of signs to have a romantic relationship with, but totally worth the effort.

Relephant reads:

What it Means to Love a Libra.

How to Love a Girl who Writes.

Date a Boy who Serves.

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Lorenzaccio/Flickr