Love will find you.

I have been in love a few times and had the proverbially great unrequited love when young. My hope is to never be afraid to love again. My hope is to always be willing to take the risk to give all for all with the idea I could lose all.

What does love need?

Love needs honesty. Love needs vulnerability. Love needs courage. Love needs hope. Love needs integrity. Love needs strength. And, love needs courage.

But what does love want? Simply, love wants more love.

So why is love elusive and sought after by some and missed by many?

1. We must have self-love
2. We must have self-respect
3. We must have self-esteem
4. We must be willing to risk all
5. We must be willing to give all
6. We must accept self
7. We must accept another
8. We must accept life as it is
9. We must be willing to flow
10. We must embrace change

I find our obsession with love resides in many notions we have about it. We often think if we have a love in our life we won’t feel alone or lonely. We think another person can complete who we are. We think another can take care of us. We think another can give us meaning and purpose. We think life will be full and problems will diminish. We think we will find an acceptance that is lacking.

Truth is we learn about self by rubbing against another. The real mirrors aren’t the reflections we see but the eyes we look into that look into us.

Being in love can make you feel more alone than when no one else is in the room.

Being in love cannot complete you if you don’t feel complete in how you are.

Being in love is not a ticket to security or being taken care of, for either sex.

Being in love cannot give meaning if it’s lacking already.

Being in love creates as many problems as it solves, if not more.

Being in love may not give acceptance if you don’t already accept yourself.

What do I suggest? Begin with loving yourself and making a gratitude list often. Take risks. Find out who you are inside and out. Unveil your shames by sharing them with someone you trust because that will free you and give you the building blocks to healthy self-esteem. Find what you love to do, and do it as often as you can. Get creative. Find what out makes you smile when alone so you have something to share when with another. Be brave.

Love is here for all of us.

Sometimes, we have to discover ways to find it but if you’re willing am sure it will find you.

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Flickr Creative Commons