Confidence is an invisible crown.

It’s our sensual essence, our silent knowingness that keeps us smiling and walking with grace.

Confidence helps us breathe with ease and walk into a room with poise and vitality.

Confidence is what sets us apart from those only invested in the perfect outfit, the highest heels, the best plastic surgeon or the incessant need to be validated.

Confidence has no need for gossip and superficial relationships.

Confidence generates more confidence.

Can you fake it ’till you make it?

Sure.

Accepting that we’re all going to get nervous and anxious in life, can actually bring us to a calmer space.

Once the shift starts to happen, we begin noticing how our body is reacting. Then we become aware of the thoughts and emotions we’re having. Soon, we witness how the fears stop multiplying and simply vanish—eases like a whisper if we let it.

Fear limits the capacity for our truest expression.

A Woman from Brazil shared a story with me about the time she was learning to play the piano. She began composing her own songs when she was only 10 years old. She asked her Mother to listen to one of her new songs. Abruptly her Mother interrupted her laughing,“That’s not music, you’re not a composer.”

She stopped playing that year.

Something that brought her such joy and freedom was instantly transformed into shame and failure. Even now as she speaks of this memory, it brings her back to the feeling of not being good enough.

We all tend to focus on a lot of unproductive fears the second we wake up or as we move through the day. Each of these fears, real or imagined can bankrupt our confidence.

Learning to reboot it needs to becomes a daily practice, until the effortless version slips in under the covers.

Most people want to be significant in their lives, but if the intention behind this comes from only identifying with fast cars, private jets, movies stars and wanting billions in the bank, there most likely will never be true satisfaction.

We quickly learn that being Superficial makes us Fragilistic.

Confidence teaches us that we are enough.

So, before anyone begins investing in surgically altering procedures, or cheating on a final exam or saying no to a vacation because our inner thighs are touching, please take a few minutes to process the following:

Smart, Sensual and Spiritual Women have the following attributes and skills in common:

1. We are pretty fucking honest with ourselves, even when it’s painful.

2. We listen well.

3. We give really good eye contact.

4. We are present—and we like them too.

5. We know what we we like and what we don’t like.

6. We wear clothing that is comfortable, maybe even provocative, but always with a personal style.

7. We don’t refer to our body as imperfect, we know it’s ours and we want to take care of it, cherish it and love it.

8. We are mindful of our posture.

9. We shake hands and we mean it.

10. We aren’t “know it alls,” but we do want to learn and experience it all.

11. We know that peace comes from being with what is.

12. We understand that in creating an environment of total acceptance, we can simply be in our essence and be love.

What would you being doing right now if you had more confidence?

Who would you call tonight?

What job would you pursue?

What fantasy would you explore?

When we begin to trust ourselves, our confident beings orchestrate all possibilities.

We discover our yearning power and our daily purpose.

I personally know that it takes strength and courage to break patterns of a life time. I have an arsenal of survival mechanisms and creative distractions that could paralyze me for an eternity. I have learned through my many, many many mistakes that taking the path of least resistance won’t build confidence. It just keeps us soft, mushy and unfulfilled.

Today, let’s all begin aligning our calendars, our spines, our lives and host a Life that we truly desire while unraveling the fear of trying to be perfect.

Make room for the Life you want.

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Apprentice Editor: Alicia Wozniak/Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Flickr/Jennifer