Our minds get caught up with thoughts of not being enough, not having enough, not knowing enough—we end up downtrodden and melodramatic, focusing on all the things we may not have and may not truly want but as it shows up directly in front our faces day in and day out, it is hard to stay grounded in our own truth.What we should remember, though, is that Facebook (and friends—Twitter, Instagram and the like) allow for only a brief glimpse into someone’s life, good or bad. A highlight reel of positives—we see what is worth sharing in their mind and it (usually) ends there.

To share good news is a beautiful thing, especially on such a widespread scale in such a short amount of time, and to be able to enjoy those moments with people across the world who are worth being our friends on the magical interwebs is equally beautiful.

As powerful as that can be, we cannot forget that no one—I mean no one—has the ideal life with the ideal circumstances all the time.

For instance, we don’t see these status updates on the regular:

Friend 1: I am drowning in credit card debt and student loans, and fear I will never get out of this financial hell. And no one knows.

Real.

Friend 2: I am one argument/affair/abusive encounter away from divorcing/breaking up with my partner, despite our white picket fence life. And no one knows.

Real.

Friend 3: I have an addiction that consumes my days and nights, and I see no viable way out. And no one knows.

Real.

Am I saying that everyone on our news feeds is going through an unfathomable pain that is hidden away from the world at large? No. Of course not. What I am trying to convey, however, is that we cannot base our contentment on someone else’s, as it isn’t sustainable nor is it the full truth.

We have to know where we stand, alone, and either continue on our current path or make moves in another direction in an effort to change our circumstances. Both options are blessings, no matter who’s status may seem like a bigger blessing.

Here’s the deal, plain and simple: when we move away from what we are, here in this moment, and start to focus on what we were or what we are not yet, things get tricky. Ugly, and tricky. Self doubt comes in like a flood, washing away all that we have suffered through and worked toward up until this point. Our sand castle foundations quickly dissolve into a soppy sad mess, leaving nothing firm for us to stand on, and quite frankly, a pathetic scene.

We are enough—we have more than enough. We do enough—we give enough. If these are our truths, we should be compelled to live there, in peace. Instead of spending any time comparing what is ours to what is theirs, wishing for more (when more is not the answer), or praying for different (when different isn’t an option).

So my suggestion for when Facebook is being a complete ass, because we are being grossly unfair to ourselves—slowly back away from the phone/tablet/computer/other handy and all-consuming technology portal, and look around.

Are we alive—breathing, maybe not thriving but surviving creatures today? Real. And a like. If I could love this, I would.

Are we able to give of ourselves—our time, our spare change, our love to others who are deserving and needing? Real. And a like. If I could love this, I would.

Are we free to move about this big beautiful world in any way we see fit, as long as no harm is done to ourselves or others? Absolutely, undeniably real. And a like. If I could love this, I would.

What we have is what we have, even if it is different or less highlight-ish than those on our friends list, and for that, we can all spare a like.

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Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: rottenecards