{Warning: Explicit Content}

It is three in the morning and here you are again.

I exhale loudly and wake myself up. The dream keeps repeating itself with different faces, a slight change in scenery, but I always feel you underneath the layers.

I feel you underneath my skin.

My hands reach for you, but you are miles away so they begin to simulate your touch.
It is cold underneath of these blankets. I still sleep on “my side” of the bed.

I run my fingers through my hair and give it a slight pull. I exhale gruffly. I twist and writhe inside. I want you here. I want the weight of your body pushing in and out of me. I want to feel our breath rise and fall together. A rush of energy floods my body and I feel myself get wet.

I remember how you use to like to lick it up, kiss me, and then we’d fuck.

I am pulling out the vibrator we bought together. I press it to my clit, close my eyes, and moan your name. I grab my breast with my other hand and cling tightly to this fantasy. I inhale and exhale rapidly. I murmur, “Fuck me baby.” I reach into the past to inspire this future orgasm. I am getting wetter. I can feel the climax coming. I breathe into it and call your name as I cum.

I open my eyes and the energy dissipates. It collapses into reality. Loneliness cradles me and rocks me back to sleep. I hug my knees into my chest and search the stuffed animal you gave me three years ago for your scent.

My insides feel as if they are being scraped out. I tumble into slumber.
I am dreaming of you once again.

It is morning, I am awake, but the dreaming doesn’t stop. I search for you in the faces, places, and mistakes I made.

To touch you would be my end. Here I am; it is four in the morning…

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Editor: Travis May

Photos: Adrianna Calvo / Pexels