I have been single forever (actually that is not exactly true).  

I have been officially single for about six years and sometimes that feels like forever. Of course there has been the odd intimate interaction with a real live man. There has also been some short but deep love “affairs” and some incredible dirty dances to boot, yet in this latest period of my life I have been uber celibate and solitary for big chunks of time.

Yet this period of my life has also been so incredibly erotic and orgasmic and growth-full and intimate and fulfilling. How can that be, you may ask? Well, I am going to try and answer that question and share some of the ways that I have learned to use the raw materials of my single life, to get deeply met by the masculine.

1. Let Krishna adore you.

Krishna is the god of love and some men are great at adoring women.

And I do not mean sleazing on her; I mean adoring her and appreciating her and honoring her feminine essence and beauty.

These men who play the part of Krishna simply want to adore us without wanting anything from us.

Often these men do not come in packages that we consider boyfriend material. I have had a few krishnas who have been a lot older than me and I had a Krishna on the dance floor on Sunday night who was super cute and far too young.

We do not have to do anything with these krishnas.

The role that these men play is to appreciate us and celebrate us for the joy of it.

Our job is to receive the appreciation—and this is not necessarily easy if your head gets in the way—but if we give it a go this can become a fine opportunity to learn how to receive loving attention and masculine energy.

As long as they are in fact good conscious krishnas, and not grabby sleazoids, then these men can teach you a lot about love if you let them. So relax, breathe, receive and let them!

2. Take Shiva as your consort.

Shiva energy is strong and masculine, and usually pretty damn sexy.

This sacred masculine energy is embodied in men who are very present and who inhabit their masculine essence fully, it is manifest in life in so many forms and the way to get to know the Shiva energy is to embody  the feminine counterpart of Shiva and be his consort, Shakti.

I feel like I have been having a mad love affair with Shiva for these last six years; I always notice if a man, or a place or an object has Shiva energy and I make a point of drinking it in and allowing it to permeate and activate me.

Basically when you see a sexy Shiva man feel into the energy that he is exuding (this can be done from a distance with discretion and respect); breathe the energy you feel deep into your belly, invite it to quiver in your yoni and then fill your whole body with a sense of aliveness .

Allow it to soften and unravel any tightness in your body and awaken the Shakti (feminine life force).  Allow yourself to be completely entered and totally undone and nourished by strong steady and loving masculine energy, ahhhhhhhh!

3. Go on a date with a mountain.

The masculine can be found everywhere in the natural world.

I am writing this directly after doing a small pilgrimage to a very masculine mountain.

How do you know if a mountain is masculine?

You feel it.

As i walked on the mountain there were linghams (phallic symbols) everywhere, I would stop and hold them and honor them. It was a very erotic walk, nature was communicating with me and winking at me and I felt very intimate with the land around me.

I was giving my attention, devotion and openness—and I received so much in return.

The more I notice, honor and receive the masculine essence in nature, in music, in life in all its myriad forms, the more I feel involved in an intimate and exciting dance of polarity. This dance is going on all of the time and it gives me a profound sense of fullness and activation.

Really! Try feeling empty when the whole universe is making love to you!

 4. Float your own damn boat—be your own lover.

So many of us hold unresolved pain and trauma in our bodies and minds that keep us locked in patterns of attracting the wrong kind of relationships.

One way to heal these traumas and be free of these patterns is to have time with your own sweet self and give yourself the kind of touch, love and space that you need.

It often can take a period of being alone to learn about the ways that we do not feel worthy.

Addressing these issues through liberal doses of self love, that can pave the way for the next-level love experience that you dream of—perhaps instead of looking around for a man to fulfill your needs what you really need is to become your own lover and learn to know yourself, and love yourself, as you are.

What I have realized is that the more I have learned to honor myself, the more I have been able to attract the kind of respectful and loving attention that I want and truly deserve as a woman.

Yep—the more I truly believe I am worthy of admiration—the more I get it.

And a few years ago, after what felt like a long period of celibacy, in which time I was working a lot on myself, the sexual interactions that I attracted all began with the man actually bowing down to me and touching my feet with respect—wow!

This was amazing proof of the inner shifts that happened during that time of celibacy and healing, only then did my outward experiences show me that I was ready to be treated like a goddess!

So in conclusion…

if you are single, or even if you are not! I really encourage you to make time to explore the polarities of masculine and feminine within and around you. Get to know the kind of masculine energy that you want in your life and practice really receiving the full potency of that energy.

This is such an empowering way to use the laboratory of your living experience to explore your sexuality and combine it with your spirituality in your every day life—whatever the circumstances. Then you might find that it is also great preparation for when you do attract your real live Shiva. Being super ready to dance wildly, freely and deliciously with the Divine masculine in him. And to be bowed down to also, as the goddess that you are.

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Apprentice Editor: Laurn DeGrado/Editor: Travis May

 Photo: Alice Popkorn/Flickr