In the tantric scriptures the love and affection between Shiva and Shakti are central. Shiva and Shakti represent the two opposite energies in man—the first one is consciousness or time and the other one—matter or space.

As long as they are separate nothing happens. When time and space meet an explosion occurs. That’s why they always strive to meet each other. The excitement of their union is the same as, if not greater than, the one experienced by regular couples.

The question is how can we have in our own lives such a relationship as the one between Lord Shiva and his consort Parvati or Shakti? Below you will find the ultimate guide on how to find your soulmate, not just a one-night stand!

1. The same attracts the same.
If one’s energy is positive, optimistic and friendly one will attract similar energies into one’s life. In other words, if we are confident, self-esteemed and self-aware, we will attract like-minded partners and friends. My first meditation teacher told me once that it’s a proven fact that women attract partners according to their energies. From my own experiences I can confirm this.

Therefore, work on yourself! Know where you are at present and what you want to achieve in the coming future. A lot of people attempt to change the world or the people around them when the real change has to be inside of ourselves.

2. Stay true to yourself.
Always be yourself, don’t pretend to play a role you think will suit you better. The more innocent and simpler we are the better. This way the right kind of people will connect with us and stay in our lives as they see who we are. There is no fear that the partner won’t like our true colors. Authenticity is always encouraged and even if they dislike our true self this means they are not meant for us. This brings us to the next point:

3. Let go of loss and rejection.
If your partner leaves you, that’s also ok. I can imagine how you’ll scream right now after you read this: “If he or she leaves me, how’s this supposed to be okay?” Hold on—we shouldn’t be overly-attached to the people in our lives.

We tend to stick and depend on family, partners, spouses, jobs and all kinds of material objects. What we’re really attached to is indeed something else—security, sentiments and our fragile egos. If for (bad) luck your partner leaves you, it’s probably for his or her own good and for your own as well. Maybe something better will come into your life and it is making its way through the old things and people. Give it space!

4. Everything you do and create has an impact on all aspects of your life.
It applies to love as well. For example, let’s suppose you do an activity which is not typical for you or you don’t have an interest in it. Let’s say you start writing about finances, entrepreneurship, etc. You send your writings to Forbes, The Financial Times etc. I bet that within a week after your publications you’ll start to receive calls for business ventures and among them a request for a date too. Why so?

The activities and actions we do are intertwined with all spheres of our lives. The more you practice something the more signals and similar waves are radiated. There’s even a saying about that, “Fake it until becomes true.” Though I agree in general with that, I’ll advise you to be careful about how you manipulate your own mind. Sometimes you might get hurt.

Recently I’ve read about the yoga practitioner, teacher and writer Claudia Azula Altucher and how she “called” her husband to come into her life. Every day for about six months she made dinner for two—herself and her boyfriend, talked to him, laughed with him, drove the car while speaking to him… She was constantly with him but he wasn’t actually there.

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? The point is that six months after simulating all this, he really came into her life and now they’re married. She says, he really makes her laugh and they talk a lot. I cannot deny I was impressed by this. Although this example goes too far for me, it shows the power of our intentions.

5. Repetition creates vibrations. They generate opportunities that cause events which ultimately lead to changes in our lives.
Let’s say you want a boyfriend/girlfriend and that he or she is the one for you. What are you gonna do? Log into OkCupid? Not necessarily. Even if you waste hours of your time and energy to meet and chat with various strangers, how will you attract the right one and will you recognize him/her?

Therefore, it’s better for you every morning right after you wake up and every night just before closing your eyes to make a positive, very simple resolve like “I have a loving partner.” The words are of your choice but they have to be very concise and simple and you have to use the same words day after day until your resolve becomes true.

Maybe you realize this is like sankalpa as in the practise of yoga nidra. While I wouldn’t suggest to make exactly that type of resolve in yoga nidra (be careful what you ask from the Higher power), making a positive, clear statement will bring more people in your life, especially loving ones. In order to work out your intention, tremendous willpower and endurance are required. You shouldn’t miss even a single day and you must repeat your resolve only when your mind is calm after waking up and before falling asleep at night.

6. Repetition of a mantra.
Sundarya Lahari (literary, Waves of Beauty) is a great ancient tantric text dedicated to the Divine Mother. She is the one who cares about her children not the father. In the words of my own Guru: “Just as there is fast food there are also fast blessings from the Divine Goddess.”

Sundarya Lahari is one of those fast blessings. It has 100 verses and the chanting of each verse bestows boons—from curing particular diseases, attaining knowledge, wealth, writing poems to progeny and making somebody fall in love with you. If you want to chant occasionally or regularly this text you have always to start and end with verse number 25. The number of the verses you chant must be a multiple of three.

I’ll advise you to consult an adept yoga teacher before chanting Sundarya Lahari. Mantras have profoundly three very important benefits: they create a link with the higher powers in the universe, they validate positive samskaras and resolves, and they strengthen the faith. That leads to the next point:

7. Have faith, pray and love.
Don’t expect your soulmate to appear out of a sudden. It may take a longer period, so be prepared to wait. The moments of doubt and desperation are the test of time. Stay healthy, confident and don’t be overly-obsessed with the goal—to find your soulmate. Do your best and leave the rest.

I wish you to be a shining and bright love expert.
May the light inspire you.

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Apprentice Editor: Jen Weddle / Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: William Warby/Flickr