This is what a warrior looks like.

Smudged eyeliner that runs while I start to cry.

Warrior 1.

Black tears slip into my mouth.

Warrior 2.

They taste salty. They taste bad.

I smell.

I need to shower.

I should rest.

I should just cry.

I should sleep.

Hold still, close the mouth, and try on some ease. Breathe brokenly through my nose. Look up, right forefinger to the sky. See that finger.

I want salvation.

Please, please.

Reversed warrior.

I’ve had enough.

I don’t want these feelings in me. Get them out. 

Vinyasa.

Kicking the sky behind me clawing the ground and… {ahhhhh} in the hip flexors.

Up dog.

It’s not enough. Out.

Downward dog.

Tension sprays out of my hamstrings, I push.

I know exactly what I need.

Right knee swings forward and plunges to the ground. Left stretches behind, I spread myself out.

Unclench my jaw, stretch out my fingers, release my foot, spread my hip.

Push into the ground.

Breathe.

It’s hard.

Breathe more.

Let go.

Half pigeon.

And there’s nothing.

But there’s breath.

It’s slow. It knows what to do. It’s safe.

It’s always safe.

I’m safe.

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Apprentice Editor: Kim Haas / Editor: Travis May

Photo: Courtesy of author.