Be present. It’s a dance. It’s the melding or touching of two minds. It’s heaven.

15 Mindful Sex Tips.

Video: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex: Kitchen Edition. {No Nudity}

1. Don’t be so predictable. Do it standing up. Against the back of a couch. Outside, beneath the stars. Put a pillow under her hips. In front of the mirror. Switch things up. Not out of boredom, but out of playfulness, exploration, and thoughtfulness.

2. “If your partner is starting to orgasm, keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t speed up or slow down, it’s obviously working.” Don’t be afraid to be consistent, diligent, patient, on the other hand—when it’s working for your partner.

3. “Did you eat anything remotely spicy today? Wash your damn hands. With soap. Twice.” A good tip—and, as a hot sauce lover (I went through a full bottle the day before yesterday on nachos from Native Foods) one I appreciate learning about.

4. “Don’t take it too seriously…This, above everything else. Sex is about having fun, not some kind of a contest. Have fun, communicate, experiment, do it together, don’t take it too seriously!” Easy to say, but can be hard to do. So, how to keep it playful? Communicate. Talk about the hard stuff. Be willing to be awkward. If they’re not into it, their loss. You tried.

5. Train your dog to be bored, leave the room, and keep his wet cold nose out of your hot wet…you know. …My dog’s bored to death with what we’re doing, luckily.

6. Don’t have sex on things that will break…unless you want good stories to tell later about breaking things because you had sex on them.

7. Go pee after. Seriously: Urinary Tract Infections. Another one I didn’t know about.

8. With one hand, left hand, pinch bra fastened in back and flick wrist out to open. Or, do it like I do, use two hands, get it pretty quickly half the time, the other half the time struggle for a minute before asking her to just please open it.

9. Don’t rush. Rushing can be nice when you’re feeling it, both of you, but generally, don’t rush. Enjoy it.

10. Most ladies want sex just as badly as most gents, and enjoy it just as much. Relax. Enjoy. Laugh. Don’t just go through the motions, rush, or try and be macho.

11. Talk. Talk about what you like and what you don’t. Not afraid to be a fool. Listen. Make one another comfortable. Be real.

12. How to Kiss.

13. Clits are key to know about, but don’t go all poundtown on someone who might be sensitive. See #11.

14. Be safe. Don’t have an unplanned child. Don’t get or give an STD. Tips.

15. Be honest. Be good. Don’t use people. Be kind.