October 17, 2014

What We can Learn from the Monsters Under our Bed.

0 Boost Score Rebecca Mckown (1,510,185)

248

I am a mother of three, ages ranging from five to almost 13.

And yes, almost counts here.

I have seen an evolution of the human mind in these last 13 years. If I were a scientist, I would probably have documented the changes. But instead I am an aware mother, watching how the mind takes over our innate, free and un-obscured natural self.

I look up and see my five year old jumping in the surf. The sun is above him and his body glows as he leaps through the waves. Every once in a while he shakes his little butt and dances.

He has embraced the currents of the wind and the waves. He has become one with a powerful force. He allows the energy to flow through him, without a concern for who is around him watching.

I marvel at how he has embraced this moment. I want to feel as carefree and untroubled. I want to thoughtlessly run and skip through the waves.

Then it dawns on me: there is a lesson here.

One of my teachers runs and leaps before me. He is everything I want to be…

Free, unobstructed, happy,

So I put down my spiritual, self-help repertoire and look to my kids for life lessons.

I have seen my kids go from jumping in the waves to the self-conscious chaos of teen-dom. I have seen this painful evolution right before my green mother’s eyes.

When does it change? When do we allow our fear to take hold? Fear starts young, but in a different storybook.

It starts with fear of separation and of monsters and strangers. Then it evolves into a fear of not being liked or chosen by peers. This then painfully evolves into fear of ourselves and not being right.

The unfortunate peer pressure kicks in.

But peer pressure isn’t what we thought it was. It is actually pressure from ourselves. It is our fearful ego, afraid we will not fit in so we do that which we know we shouldn’t so others will hopefully accept us. Take this, multiplied it by all of our “peer’s expectations,” and the pressure is enough to suffocate a room, a school, a generation.

So let’s go back: five years old and not a care in the world. The waves, the wind, bathing suit or naked, hair all a-tangle. It is all good. Actually, it is all great.

Eleven-year-old daughter, still scared of the dark, messy hair, dreamer, proud of her immense stuffed animal collection, still chasing the waves and building chicken shaped sand castles.

Thirteen-year-old son, not a hair out of place, hands clasped behind his back, powerful and strong in voice, avidly denying anything and everything childlike. He has painfully separated himself from his siblings and, yes, his mother. He will no longer jump the waves or even tread the water without first glancing back to see who is watching. He holds back his laughs, afraid of being seen as childlike. He has lost his childlike grin. When did the fear monster take him away?

Perhaps it is the same monster that threatened to jump out from under his bed. Perhaps he knew, way back then, when he was five, that there really were monsters threatening to take him away. Perhaps this monster was a reflection of our future selves afraid to be true and forever jump the waves.

As I contemplate all this, I start to find the lessons my kids have to teach me and the world. Our kids come to us pure and unencumbered by fears and self-doubt.

So what can we all glean from kids and bring back into our life?

1. Put on blinders. You know the blinders horses sometimes wear so they can’t see from their peripheral vision? Yeah, kind of like that. If we can all just look forward to what we are doing, without seeing those around us, we just may do more. Allow for your blind spot to be a way to block out the noise of your thoughts and fear of judgment.

2. Imagine. Kids have awesome imaginations. They can be superheroes, princesses, dragons, wizards, you name it and they can be it. Commune with your younger self and find one of your old imagination seeds and plant it deep within you. Let it germinate, bloom and flourish. Let your imagination become a part of your day.

3. Be carefree. Run and jump and fly through the fields. Skip work and go for a hike, looking under logs and rocks. Climb a tree and look out at a fantasy world beyond.

4. Believe. Believe in wonder and magic. Look through a marble and see your future. Wear a mood ring and watch it change. Believe in all that you can’t see and know that everything is possible.

5. Wear your underwear on your head and your shirt on your bottom. Find the ease in doing the strange, exploring the odd, and laughing at your reflection.

Next time you are needing a little guidance, look to the young ones in your life. They will have some great lessons to teach.

Make it your mission to learn, love and jump in the waves.