Often times, we hold onto the things in our past that have hurt us the most.

It doesn’t matter if it’s the loss of a loved one, a heartbreak, cheating, divorce, health crisis, childhood issues or whatever else you can think of, we all suffer the same way.

By holding onto the past or the issues from the past, we block good things from coming our way. We get stuck in this loop of holding onto negative patterns and not being able to move forward.

Here’s the thing: we all have a story. We’ve all been put thru the ringer.

Instead of denying or pretending that there isn’t an issue, the next time you feel pain—whether it’s physical, emotional or mental—I encourage you to feel it. Don’t switch your thoughts to forget about it or have PMA (positive mental attitude).

Instead, sit with it, breathe it in, let the tears flow, really feel it in your body, mind and soul. Once you’ve done that, breathe it out and let it go. You’ll notice that the space in between the pain that you’re feeling will be less and less.

In our society, we’re acculturated in believing that we need to quickly move on. We need to let it go. We need to forget about it. We need to do anything other than feel what it is we’re feeling. So we distract ourselves. We quickly change our thoughts and try to be positive. We do something, anything to avoid what it is we’re feeling.

But, when you actually sit with what you’re going through and take in all the feelings, no matter how negative they are, you give yourself the opportunity to be able to release it.

Whether your goal is financial, relationship oriented or health related, once you’ve taken action toward your goals and released the anxieties or fears surrounding these goals by using the above technique, you have to just trust in what is.

You have to know and believe that your goal will come to fruition. You have to let it go and release it to the universe so that it can do it’s job. It’s like making a wish in a fountain—once you’ve made the wish, just let it go and don’t think about it again.

Here are some other ways to help you release, trust and have your goals come to fruition more easily:

Figure out what your goal is related to.

Is it financial? Then use your money direction.

Is it relationship oriented, like getting married, dating, improving existing relationships? Then use your relationship direction.

Is it health related? Then use your health direction.

Use this chart to find your Gua number, which is based on your birthday and gender. Use this chart to find your money, health and relationship directions.

Once you’ve found your Gua number and direction, start sleeping with your head to the direction you’ve chosen. When working or spending long periods of time sitting down or watching TV, face your chosen direction. Start using doors that face your chosen direction, whether it’s at home or at work. It doesn’t matter if it’s a front, back or garage door. Use it exclusively to come and go.

The more you use your chosen direction, the easier it’ll be to make changes, release the old and let the new come ushering in.

Remember, life is a process. The more we ebb and flow with it, the more benefit we derive. There’s no shortcut to success. We just have to do our part in letting go, trusting and accepting.

Everything we need is all within us.

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Author: Jennifer Bonetto

Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Porsche Brosseau/Flickr