As yet another year comes to a close, so does the common custom of taking inventory of this year’s highs and lows come into effect.

Whether we are conscious of it or not we are all composing a legacy for ourselves. It is built of both minor a major decisions.

As a practice for the last six months, I have been listening to YouTube videos on the Law of Attraction. I’ve been curious to explore the teaching that exposes a clear avenue to experiencing our hearts desires. I’ve learned a lot of different things that all lead to a similar premise—we are creators.

The great teachers of the Law are Abraham Hicks, Neville Goddard, Earl Nightingale, Louise Hey, Michael Bernard Beckwith and many more. Each person offers a different perspective and of all the perspectives I’ve taken in, Florence Scovel Shinn’s book The Game of Life and How to Play it is the most digestible.

Of the countless hours of audio I’ve listened to, one concept has seemed to go overlooked. Authors vehemently ascribe to the notion that the subconscious mind is the most powerful force known to man.

There are ways to program it. There are right and wrong ways to direct our thoughts. There is the endless barrage of positive programming that an individual can focus upon.

Yet, again, there has been a component missing.

In the teachings everyone seems to agree upon the idea that to do, be, and have what you want you must be able to visualize it, feel it, and then act upon it. You can categorize motivational speakers according to which of these areas they teach on the most. The “out there” new-age speakers tend to focus on visualization. That being said, visualization is a tool used across the board from business strategists to professional athletes.

Therapists tend to be the crew that focuses on feelings. We really like people to “be in their body” and to connect to sensation. This is also a helpful tool when assessing the current moment in a way that helps to detract from old stories about the past or suppositions about the future.

Then there are the “Coaches.” Whoever came up with the idea to apply the term “coaching” to an industry that helps people organize their lives clearly wasn’t a linguist. It is such a gross description. That being said, coaches are the action oriented folks.

There are, in fact, some holistic practitioners out there that do a good job of integrating the spectrum.

And they are still missing out on an essential factor.

If we really step back for a minute it becomes easy to see that desire is a powerful force of which humans barely understand. It takes a certain sort of insanity reserved for artists and poets to live closely to desire. It takes a willingness to be ripped apart. If we see the forlorn faces of individuals who are suffering from unrequited love; we can too witness the havoc desire can wreak on a soul.

Those that profess to be “die-hard romantics” come ever so close to understanding the mystery in manifestation.

Recall something you’ve wanted in your life—you didn’t just want it, you longed after it with conviction. I’ve felt this way about a few things.

Of course, there is no escaping the ambiguity of desiring another person’s love, affection, and attention. It can either be given freely or not it all. In other terms, we can’t actually have it. This brings me to the missing key of manifestation and the hidden component in the Law of Attraction.

There is a fine line between want and need.

If that line is trespassed in favor of need then the subject or object that is needed is not free to come into being.

It is agreed upon in the Law that thoughts can be directed and feelings can be elicited by such thoughts. Then too can a person decide between needing and wanting. The years of needing befall human life during infancy. Need then evolves over time. A baby is completely at the mercy of his or her caregiver. If neglected, then it will die.

It then makes sense that if an adult is acting as if he or she “needs” a subject or an object they are in fact acting like an infant. That subject or object is something that must take care of them.

Need is ineffectual.

In very simple relational terms, I’ve been in love with someone for a long time. And in that time the gap between us has grown from a fissure to the Grand Canyon. The simple explanation for why this happened is because I allowed myself to “be needed”. It was a huge misunderstanding. I never wanted to be needed. It felt obsessive, vampiric, and incestuous.

This type of pertinacious energy provoked an internal urgency for me to “fix,” to “have answers,” and to “be the adult.” It literally sucked the life out of me. My love became coupled with a deep sense of obligation which my mate, now my ex, came to resent.

In a moment of much sought after clarity, I realized that in order to have what I want the most I’ve got to be willing to give it. I wanted to be listened to. I wanted to be heard.

I wanted to get what I wanted.

It then dawned on me that I did not want to be needed nor have to care. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted the free reign of choice to flow between us—the unspoken liberation of wanting each other to be our guide.

So too did I realize that no matter the desired manifestation, it cannot be needed. If you must have something for your survival then all you shall have is survival.

Survival is the currency of need and need the breeding grounds for survival.

To really experience the fully articulated manifestation of our deepest desires, they must be wanted. They must be courted like a lover. They must have our affections and not our worries. They must be fed illustrious dreams and not trepidatious fears.

If it is money we want, we can love it into being. If it is sex that we crave, we have to want the ache of it as much as the relief. And if it’s knowing that we want, we have to see how far we can stretch ourselves to just let go.

We don’t need to pinch off the universe with plans, just offer it our desires. Cycle through wants, whispers, quiet prayers and then, in time, our eyes will open to see they are already there.

In no longer needing, we shall have everything we are wanting.

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Author: Rebekah McClaskey

Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Holly Groves at Pixoto