I’ve met quite a few people in my time whose egos were so overly attached to their desires that it was causing them mental and physical health issues.

In fact, I used to be one of them.

I was never too selfish as I’ve always had a strong degree of care for others, however I used to overly attach myself to certain things, such as winning an argument if I thought I was right. I was stubborn.

I also tried to control how people viewed me, but then I realized that it was none of my business, because we all self-project our own truths through either independent or comparative judgement. Judging is just the same as assessing and reaching a view on our environment, including people, however independent or objective judgement is a healthy analysis whilst comparative or competitive judgement is unhealthy.

Now I have in general learned to let go of my need to win and be properly understood, even if I still think I am right or know that someone has a misconceived view of me. It’s simply not my job to control others’ truth. I still provide a response that is genuine and direct, but I have no attachment to the outcome. It is what it is.

The more I learned to do this, the more I could see when people were acting in this sort of way. Controlling people will basically do everything in their power to achieve what they want, with little to no flexibility on the outcome. They might be self-absorbed, so they are generally only impacting themselves negatively, or they abuse their power, which means they adversely impact other people. They are generally both.

Those who need to control every element of their lives can sometimes develop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; however this is the exception, not the rule. In contrast, those who relentlessly attempt to control others’ lives are potentially narcissistic or megalomaniac.

Regardless, any person who religiously attempts to control their reality is destined for doom. They can develop this state of being after they rise through some form of external success in life, but if they continue to overly attach the desires of their ego to their unfolding reality then they’re in for a tough fall.

We simply can’t always get what we want. In fact, we shouldn’t always want what we want. I have personally experienced countless times in my life where something unexpected or even undesirable occurred, and it was exactly what I needed for my learning and growth.

I got what I needed, not what I wanted.

I have no doubt that this is also applicable to every other human being out there. Examples can include simply missing an exit which leads us to an unexplored territory that brings an insightful or pleasurable experience. Another is that somebody hurt us in a particular way which was a catalyst for something great entering into our life. In addition, there are many occasions where we got a result that was not our aim, but was perfect for us in one way or another.

We should not just learn to expect the unexpected, but to also relish in it.

As we are energetic vibrations of electromagnetism and sound, we are continually pulsing out a frequency around us and attracting the relevant energy back. That frequency is the result of our energetic blueprint—or our spirit—and our subconscious and conscious minds.

Our conscious mind, or the tip of our ego, is rarely aligned to our energetic blueprint, so we might be disappointed with what we inevitably create in our lives. Our subconscious has also been programmed or hardwired since our conception and may also not align to what we consciously want.

It is between 95 to 99 percent of the brain’s activity—depending on each individual’s development of their awareness—so if it is programmed in a way that is in contrast to our goals, then it is working against us.

Meditation is an effective tool to reprogram the subconscious mind. So is self-administered or professional psychotherapy. These methodologies can help us make certain aspects of our subconscious, conscious, effectively changing it as we see fit.

Yet our energetic blueprint, which is the information that is fundamental to who we are, cannot be subtracted from. It can be added to, which is what we do in every moment of our lives. The totality of our experience continually feeds information into our infinite record and grows it accordingly.

In addition, if our conscious mind is disharmonious with our energetic framework and our environment, it causes dis-ease, which can lead to disease. The mind is a powerful tool—as evidenced by placebos—so finding the right balance between allowing our mind to naturally adapt to our life circumstances, as well as being driven to create the life circumstances that we wish, will inevitably be healthier for us.

In any case, all of our driving forces remind us of the importance to let go of controlling every element of our lives. The reality is, we’re not always entirely conscious of our real needs. Of course it is great to achieve certain goals, but if we don’t accomplish them then we know why: it wasn’t what we truly needed, at least in that moment.

Obviously it is also vital to generate wisdom from our knowledge and experience—and apply it accordingly—but our wisdom also knows that whatever eventuates is somehow essential for our learning and growth. The advantage is we can certainly find acceptance and inner peace in that.

Ultimately, our conscious and finite mind will never be aware enough to always know exactly what our infinite being truly needs, so if we’re out of alignment we’re continually brought back to where we need to be. Therefore, any one of us can rise as a control freak, but the further we do, the harder we fall.

Our energetic blueprint guarantees it.

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Author: Phil Watt

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Kurt Bauschardt