A space,

That teeny-tiny pause

When a cool, fresh inhale becomes

A warm exhale.

The magic moment

When a heartbeat flips over

And turns into another heartbeat.

That’s where freedom exists.

In the ecstatic emptiness of the in-between,

In the grand canyon of frothy, lace-like subtlety.

Too often,

I fill pristine silence with loud, fake laughter,

I sprinkle anxious, meaningless chatter into the folds of awkward pauses.

Maybe I’m scared.

Terrified

That the quiet

Which drips with succulent, layered truths

Will swallow me whole and threaten my stubborn beliefs.

I run around and rush

And go, go, go,

I try to be loud enough

And busy enough

So I won’t have to face myself.

But silence follows me everywhere.

My unwanted gossamer companion,

A see-through silver scarf flowing behind my back.

I can’t run anymore.

So I sit,

Awkward and alone

Breathless and anxious; uncomfortable and scared.

I stay quiet for the eternity etched in a moment.

I take a breath, a pause, an epic taste of stillness.

Goosebumps cover my flesh

As the sweet hum of nothing-ness

Feeds my soul gently.

I sit with my own throbbing imperfectness,

Humbled, stripped down and raw.

My heart aches, wonderfully.

A more intentional life.

A life laced with the unwavering intention to be here.

What does that mean?

How can we cultivate

The steady, trickling determination

To find out

What that really means?

I don’t know.

But something tells me

It starts here,

With this epic inhale

And this slow, exquisite

Exhale.

Author’s note: This piece was inspired by Ashleigh Hitchcock’s beautiful post “A Simple Practice to Stop from Interrupting.” I highly recommend reading it! Her words brought me home to myself. 

Relephant:

The In-Between.

Author: Sarah Harvey

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Pixabay