I’m awake. I glance at the digital clock: 4:43 a.m.

If I was sleeping alone I would get up and write, but I’m not.

Snuggled up against me is a blond, smart, beautiful woman I met on plenty of fish four years ago.

It’s against my religion to wake the peacefully sleeping, so I lie there pondering the possibility of sex and enjoying her warm kinesthetic company.

Several minutes pass, and I hear a shift in her breathing.

She is awake too.

Two adults, the middle of the night and both awake. Perfect conditions for mischief.

Slowly I reach my arm round her shoulder and I take her right nipple between my thumb and forefinger.

Her breath shifts again, from just awake to attentive.

I press and pull, twisting my wrist so that I can exert consistent firm pressure, pulling her nipple outward from her chest.

Consistency and just the right pressure are key here. You have to be attentive to her edge between pleasure and pain.

And you have to hold the nipple just so, with minimal variation for as long as it takes.

What is the “it” that you are waiting for?

This particular morning after about one minute of pulling she exhaled with a slight sound indicating sensation but neither pleasure or pain.

What followed was rapid breathing. I had no idea what was going on with her but knew that she would stop me if she needed to. I didn’t find out what was up with her until later.

I continued to pull for several more minutes until her breath returned to normal, and she emitted three quiet, low moans I interpreted as pleasure.

We lay silently for perhaps 10 minutes: integration time for both of us.

I then reached for her left nipple, and gently began a nipple pull there.

There are three vitally important aspects to sexual experimentation:

1. Doing something daring in the presence of attention to sensory feedback.

2. Debriefing: in which you exchange reports on the experience.

3. Doing whatever comes next that builds on the experience you have just shared.

Debriefing

“When you first started pulling,” she said, “it hurt. But then panic quickly set in. I just lay there deeply in panic until I thought I couldn’t stand it one more moment.”

“Time disappeared. It felt like I was trapped forever. Pleasure began as the panic and pain turned warm, filling me, beginning around me heart and spreading to the rest of my body.”

“I didn’t know that was panic.” I said. “But I knew it was deeply moving.”

“It took a few minutes to integrate, and on the other side of the panic was a pleasure I haven’t felt before,” she said. “My left breast was all pleasure, every moment of it, and I wanted it to go on forever.”

What Comes Next

After that we rolled around for a bit. Her body still integrating the experience, with new sensations for both of us.

Intercourse followed. I was careful not to touch her breasts though. They didn’t need more stimulation or further experiences.

Deeper Learnings

When she was experiencing panic, time stood still. In fact, it disappeared. All she felt was panic without beginning or end.

Such timeless experiences, as we all have when the intensity of the moment pulls us back from the imaginary past and future, offer spiritual learning.

We were just in bed, playing around, but what showed up was a spiritual experience, outside of time and space.

Hours later she said, “Any time I want I can just feel back into that place, and have the pleasure, panic or pain. They are all right there for me. Accessible.”

Nipple pulls didn’t cause this spiritual experience.

And please, don’t pull on a nipple expecting angels or timeless sensations, pleasure or pain.

But try something new, try it fully, and find out what happens.

Stay with the experience, debrief afterward, and then find out what the brand new two of you, having shared an experience, do next.

~

Author: Jerry Stocking

Editor: Travis May

Image: Wikicommons