Unworthiness is something everyone feels to some degree.

Some people’s conditioning leaves them with a small dose, others get a very big one.

Unworthiness is an epidemic in our society. It exists in other parts of the world, but not to the degree it does here. We are taught in our culture to chase the carrot and go outside ourselves for happiness. This is fertile ground for unworthiness.

Unworthiness basically runs our society. We are all looking for ways to be okay. “I’ll be a good girl or martyr so I can be worthy or I’ll blame, project or judge you. I’ll make you bad so I can feel worthy. I’m better, I know more, I’m prettier…”

These are all ways the mind tries to make us okay.

As a child in church I remember being confused while listening to the sermon. One minute I was made in God’s image, the next moment I was dirt. Which was it? From the people around me, I heard we can only be saved from our wretchedness by Jesus Christ but we are better because we’re Christians, and our way is the right way—those other people are lost. It didn’t make sense to me. The whole thing sent me searching for something else because no matter how hard I tried, I always felt unworthy.

As I watched and questioned my mind I realized that my deep sense of unworthiness was the driving support that kept my ego mind alive. As the unworthiness fell away, so did ego.

The ego mind isn’t bad. We don’t have to fight or kill it.

It developed as a way to compensate for the unworthiness we believe in and feel so strongly. It follows what it was programmed with to try to make us okay, or maybe special, so we won’t feel unworthy anymore.

Unworthiness is not something we are. It is a state of mind. It often comes up as a reaction to a situation or other people: “I’m broke or they like her more so I must be unworthy.” Unworthiness is simply part of our programming. Just like if we always get angry in certain situations, we will find unworthy in certain situations.

As I watched when unworthiness came up for me personally, I would put space around it and I was then able to see its programming. Often I would feel terrible and I would hear in my mind: “I’m a piece of sh*t.” I learned not to react to it. I would watch and see what the program was reacting to, what it would say and what the mind would try to do to “fix” it. I learned the “I’m a piece of sh*t” programming came up around other people. “I didn’t make them happy, they aren’t rescuing me or they don’t see me a certain way.”

I realized unworthiness also came up a lot in relation to money. “I don’t have enough, other people will be disappointed in me,” or “What’s wrong with me?” Soon I realized there was nothing wrong with me. It was the thoughts I was following that were crazy.

The more we look, the more we can see the mind doesn’t have a clue and can be down right stupid. We begin to realize: this is what I have allowed to lead my life. No wonder it’s a mess. We have practiced being unworthy, guilty and not good enough so long we believe it’s actually who we are. It has become an automatic role we play. Our ego mind begins an elaborate masquerade party to hide the fact that we feel this way, and to find a way to make us okay.

We have been taught to distrust ourselves. To turn away from our true self. Why would we trust someone who is unworthy or bad? We begin to believe we are really separate, we are not enough and the world is a hostile place. We have learned to turn away from our inner wisdom and follow the ego mind.

As children we accept what is presented to us. We believe it to be reality; we don’t know anything else. We feel a deep sense of loss, the loss of our truth. This can come out as anger or sometimes helplessness, which only adds to the sense of unworthiness.

As we begin to realize unworthiness is a reaction or a state of mind, it loses a lot of its power. We no longer believe it’s who we are. We have been taught to hide or avoid unworthiness at any cost. But we begin to realize it’s only by opening to it, by giving it space, that we can see its unconscious workings. It’s the walls of our prison.

The fear that was the cement holding unworthiness together falls apart quickly as light is brought to it. We don’t need to affirm “I am worthy, I am worthy.” This creates stress and conflict.

Simply let go of what isn’t true by bringing the light to it and giving it space. It will unravel itself and our true nature, consciousness itself, comes streaming in.

Author: Lisa Greene

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Image: Gregorio Puga Bailón/Flickr