This article originally appeared on MeetMindful. elephant is proud to share their content, and we think you’ll love them just as much as we do. Happy reading! ~ Ed.

Under all circumstances, wanting to be a better person is admirable. It’s something we all strive for. But, what happens to your relationship when you make those long sought after changes? It should make everything better, right?

Personal transformation and relationships are a funny thing; as you understand the first, the impact on the second—while maybe not pleasurable—makes sense.

Enlightenment is a process of lightening up. Meaning: your burden, confusion, and selfishness are giving way to joy, clarity, and presence. Sometimes we enter into relationships that are based on the burdens we carry and the very thing that we are trying to unload. It makes perfect sense that the relationships centered around our deepest wounds can disappear as quickly as the process of healing them.

Burden to Joy:

What is a burden, really? It’s the weight of your ungrieved spirit seeking acknowledgement and release. The more you receive its presence with compassion it transforms into grief. Embracing this process creates a lightness unlike any other experience you can have, not even a good adrenaline rush compares.

In a relationship:

The beginning perception of a person who is new to the process of transformation to their stationary partner is repulsion. They begin to witness their movement and lightness in reference to the perceived negativity or misery of their partner. Phrases like higher or lower vibration, positive or negative attitude, or old or new soul are all common in this phase of development. It’s true that a relationship created in this place is all about inner conflict and outer struggle. It’s possible to make this work but you must choose patience.

Confusion to Clarity:

It is through our emotions that we decipher and relate to our world. Confusion then, is the next logical phase of lightening up. Confusion means you are fluctuating between dominance and submission. In certain scenarios you perceive and desire the illusion of control, while in others you give over to the dominance of others.

In a relationship:

This phase of lightening up helps you to consciously recognize that you see your world through how you see yourself. Victimization is a popular sentiment in this process, so a relationship here can often be volatile and steeped in conflict. Sometimes, over as quickly as it starts. The true spiritual purpose of these relationships are to…

…Follow us over to MeetMindful to finish reading How Personal Transformation Can Help or Hinder Relationship.

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Author: Tracee Dunblazier 

Editor: Katarina Tavčar

Photo: mbtrama/Flickr