This morning, I found myself coming to the realization that because of the choices I’ve made, so much of what was…will simply no longer remain to be—because that’s life.
Since childhood, I’ve experienced the bittersweet reception, followed by the bittersweet ending of friendships, schools and even family members.
Times and places change. We move on to somewhere else, or someone we grew so fond of does instead. Locations change. People change. Ideas and perceptions, definitely change. We move on to new experiences, yet choose to hold on or let go of what was.
It’s terminal.
All that was, is or ever will be, will come to an end eventually. In order for energy to flow anew, we must be willing to allow the winds of change to disperse the plume of smoke of what once was.
Right now, I’m grappling with the notion of letting go of all that I’ve known these past few years. I realize that in times of transition, we quickly lose sight of what was so recently a familiar experience. Our normal day to day life is no longer reminiscent of what’s normal to us today.
We’re suddenly staring into the eyes of people we’ve never met before, yet our heart longs to connect with them—perhaps to feel what’s been lost or left behind.
We moved on.
We moved out.
We left, so we could come to…whatever is next.
I’ve not properly grieved the loss of a life I have known these past eight years. It’s not sunken in that the extent of my life now rests upon my shoulders as I journey forth into a new land—unknown territories. Thank goodness, for human nature; that of kindness and generosity—humanity.
People greet us when we arrive and for just a moment, we no longer feel like an alien in a strange land. Our hearts pull us to and fro. We breathe just a little easier, because now there is familiarity in this new life we’re now leading.
We admit, we’re scared.
Right now, I’m backpacking around. I guess to others, I appear to be a traveler (or a bum). People have asked me what my trail name is, and others have inquired into whether I’m writing my story down as I wander about.
If we are open to these new exchanges, we’re certainly in store for birthing realizations to present themselves, awakening our hearts and minds just a little more. People are all unique, and what they have to offer is priceless to this story, unfolding right here, in this precious moment.
I’m reminded of my own humanity, and it’s dawning on me to no longer fear what’s next.
Right here. Right now. This is where we’re meant to be residing, most of the time. I love it when my mind wanders and when my heart beckons toward the lovely lady passing by. My humility is evident, upon a tattered, yet sheltering sleeve. So I come to. I return to the present moment. I remind myself of where I am. Who I am. What I’m doing, which is still largely a wonder.
We’re humbled by the generosity of others, who seek human compassion as a mantra in their day to day lives. We forget. We lose sight of what’s so important, only to be bitterly or serendipitously reminded of the same. Family, friends and love. Love of life. Love of fright. Love of uncertainty. We learn to embrace it all and take it in stride as each day, happy and sad, comes to pass—like the weather and time. Like friends and loved ones, lovers and enemies…even ourselves, or who we once were and are now becoming. Figments of our imagination, yet so palatable and tangible in our feeling vortex.
We’re coming into our own, always.
Please never fret when you are alone and scared. You’re loved. You are the light. Let it exist within you and shine outward to a world in need of more human interaction—in the flesh; in love. Okay? We need to pull together right now, at this juncture of our human evolution.
It’s imperative that we learn how to pay in kind, in good deeds, no matter how small or large they may be. There’s little room for selfishness in a world that is losing its grip on reality—that of a grounded nature. Connected. Intact. We must not lose sight of what’s so readily lost for superficial material gain, even if we choose to move on—to move forward into the expanse of foreign territories. Wanderlust—the unsatiated desire to roam about and live a new story over and over again.
New trains of thought arrive, new ideas of what life and love means to us, personally. We’re learning, always. We’re giving, in ways we may never fully realize or understand. It’s safe to take or accept—receive from others and nature—what’s meant for us, unconditionally.
But please, give back. Give something. Give of yourself. Give unto others, what’s been given to you, but do so in kind. Even if we’ve been mistreated or abused, give back to others in kind. Forgive. Let go…somehow—when you’re ready, or perhaps not. It’s a willingness, to expand our awareness, our reality—our ability to contribute more, than just enough for ourselves.
This life is about learning lessons, being humiliated, so we know what it’s like to embody humility—to shed an ounce of pride, so we might be reminded that we’re all standing on the same plane, holding hands, together; rising or falling, together. Kiss your f*cking loved ones goodbye and turn your back to them, then go. But never forget to savor the love that exists eternally between them and you. It’s always present. They’re with you now and you’re with them, in spirit. Appreciate distance in time. Reminisce in the glory of the stories shared and the forever of never being separate from all that is.
Look them in the eyes and remember it for a lifetime—their soul, your soul. Our oneness. The infinite expression of two lover’s gaze…everyone we’ve ever shared a moment in time with, peering into the origins of creation; spellbound by the existential beauty of an ever-expansive universe within each of us.
We are life. We are oblivion. We are nature.
Look into the eyes of those you’re going to meet and remember just who you are, who they are, who we all are. We’re human, and I love you. Thank you. Please forgive me. I’m sorry. I must go, but I’ll never forget you. Our time together will never remain lost, no matter how lost we may become. Let us find ourselves, to remember who we truly are.
It’s in the eyes of a stranger, a child, loved one or elder, where we are reminded of all that’s important in this life. Our humanity exists within. Let go, but never stop loving.
~
Author: Thayne Ulschmid
Image: @elephantjournal
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
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