Visualize this.

You scroll through Instagram or Facebook and read a post written by someone you know. It’s vague, doesn’t name anyone in particular, and yet you swear it’s about you, or someone you know. You begin creating a story about this person, believing they’re out to destroy you, or in an extreme case you start to think they’re hellbent on making your life miserable. All of a sudden you demonize them, have made up your mind that you don’t like them, and decide to unfollow, mute, or even worse – share your unfounded thoughts with someone else in an effort to make them believe the same.

I’m not saying this situation doesn’t exist, but one of the most common misunderstandings online is assuming something is about you, when it may not be.

Consuming content can be obsessive and compulsive, or objective and beneficial. How are you consuming it? Are you being honest with yourself?

1. It’s not always about you. People’s lives involve a wide variety of other human beings, including themselves. It’s not always about you. Your friend, family member, neighbour, ex-friend, ex-partner, any relationship you’ve had that has had some sort of conflict, may not be living their life in a way that involves you in every moment of every day. People go through life with a wide range of experiences. This can create a tornado-like effect, where false ideas, thoughts, assumptions, and misunderstandings merge together in a storm of chaos, that ultimately leads to destruction. Creative energy can stall, and opportunities come and go without you even noticing.
2.  You think you know who they’re talking about/what their belief system is/who they are/fill in the blank. If it isn’t you, and you do have a friend who believes #1, you may take on their belief system as your own, and if not, you may judge someone based on something that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. We live in a world full of information and constant content, and yet are more disconnected then ever before. There is a massive lack of face to face communication, or the act of picking up the phone and talking to someone. The vibration of someone’s voice, the human connection that involves more than just typing on keys is so important and needed. Assuming you know who someone is talking about, and thinking the worst (or the best) can be a sure fire way to add a real negative spin on things.

There are also situations where you assume someone is wrong in their belief based on what you believe in. History has proven over and over again that our experiences greatly differ. We are basing quick decisions based on a tap and scroll instead of actual conversations. I think it’s important to remember:

• A good experience for you may have been a nightmare of an experience for someone else several years back.
• A changed person may be just that, someone who used to be a very different communicator in the past, and has now changed their ways. That doesn’t make a previous experience false.
• People and situations change, but their past affected others in a very different way than you may be experiencing right now.

Yes, sometimes people have ill intentions, but many have very good intentions. We need to provide more space and empathy and start giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.

That being said, don’t believe everything you read. 😉

Photo by Daniel Lincoln on Unsplash